Injury jokes

What's got 6 legs, 3 arms, and 3 heads?

The finish line at the Boston marathon.

If someone with a lisp dropped a hammer on their foot, would they be Thor?

This man got his left arm and left leg cut off, and someone asked him, "How are you?" And he said, "I’m all right now."

Why does a movie set say "break a leg"? Because they have a cast.

What has two legs and bleeds?

Half a cat.

What do an acting role and playing sports have in common?

If you break a leg, you get cast.

I gave the blind kid a gun and said it was a hair dryer.

Why do emo kids not run? Because their bodies will tear apart from the bones from all the cuts.

What has 5 arms, 3 legs, and 2 feet? The finish line at the Boston Marathon.

The shark bit me and I feet red down my legs.

Why are smurfs blue?

Because they get bruises all the time.

What's red and bad for your teeth? A brick.

My sister was at Sixth Street and someone stepped on her toes and she bled, so she called the police! XD

A man walks into a bar and ends up with a concussion.

Maybe if he looked where he was going, he wouldn’t have hit that pole.

I slit my wrists.

So there's a little girl playing hopscotch at the front of her house while her mother hangs up the washing and her father mows the lawn. She says, "Step on a crack and you break your mother's back." The father laughs, until his daughter steps on a crack resulting in her mother's back breaking.

The little girl's father looks in terror, she then says, "Step on a line and you break your father's spine." The father closes his eyes waiting for his spine to break, but nothing happens. When he opens his eyes again he sees that he is ok, and nothing has happened to him. Suddenly he hears someone yell out "OW MY SPINE!" The father runs around the corner to see the mailman laying on the floor.

Today was a bittersweet day...

Bad news is my friend was assaulted. Good news is I successfully sneak attacked someone!

A Blonde walks into a hospital claiming that everywhere she touches hurts. So she goes into the examination room and the doctor says, "Okay, I'd like you to point to wherever it hurts." So the Blonde pokes her cheek and says, "Here. Ow." She then pokes her arm and says, "Here. Ow." She then repeats this with different parts of her body until the doctor finally says that she should stop.

The doctor says, "I know what's happened to you." "What's happened to me?" The Blonde says, concerned. The doctor simply replies, "You have a broken finger."

Confucius say, "Man who bite electric wire get shocking experience!"

A man walked into a bar...

Ouch!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!