Injury jokes

I'm stumped.

Why did the child drop their ice cream?

They got hit by a bus.

What's worse than ten babies stapled to a tree?

A baby stapled to ten trees.

Why do people who get shot in the head always become therapists?

They are more open-minded.

A: What did the lawyer say to the amputee?

Q: You haven't got a leg to stand on.

What did the horse say after it tripped?

Help! I’ve fallen and I can’t giddyup!

Why does Michael Jackson avoid Pepsi? They gave him a hot one.

What's the difference between a newborn baby and an orphan after a rugby match?

They both come out bloody and crying, but at least one gets picked up.

What goes hahaha bonk?

A man laughing his head off.

What do you call a person with 2 black eyes?

Nothing, you told them twice.

What do you say to a person who got his whole left side cut off? "Are you all right?!"

What do you call an injured person who doesn't want to play a game with you? A sore loser.

I gave the blind kid a gun and called it a hair dryer.

What do my little brother and a vagina have in common?

They both ooze blood 🩸 when punched.

*The doctor asking why I've broken 19 bones in the past week*

*My abusive mum- Go on, tell him!*

Well what am I gonna do now...

Why did Susan drop her ice cream? She was hit by a bus.

What's red and sits in the corner?

A baby chewing on a razor blade.

What's green and sits in the corner?

Same baby, one week later.

Do nothing about people falling down the stairs, it will keep happening.

Put razor blades on the stairs, it will be their last time falling down the stairs.

I went to the doctor's yesterday. I said, "When I touch my back, it hurts. When I touch my knee, it hurts. When I touch anything, it hurts!" 😣 What’s wrong with me?

Doctor: You’ve broken your finger.

Cut.