What is a cow's favorite water sport?
Ca-MOO-ing!
I was in a maze and I got to the end and they congratulated me. I said that was a-maze-ing!
There are 4 people on an airplane, and the pilot has a heart attack and dies. The plane is going down, and there are also only 3 parachutes. So the guy who knows how to cure cancer says, "I’m jumping. I can save many lives." Then the 46th president, Joe Biden, says, "I’m taking the 2nd one." So there is only one left. Donald Trump says to the 7-year-old girl, "I have lived a long life. You can take the next one." So the little girl says, "That’s ok; the 46th president took my backpack." Lol.
A couple has sex in the dark every single night.
One night, the wife gets curious about what goes on, so they start f...ing, and she flicks the light on. When she flicks the light on, she catches him with a dildo playing with her pussy. She's so mad that she started ranting and raving. The husband says, "Honey, I know you're mad, and I'll explain the toy. Just do me one favor: explain the children."
So I was watching TV, right? Then I f***ing got banged in the eye with either a remote or metal tongs. "WTF?"
These are the reasons the West will fall. Also, men's rights are f***ing stupid if men keep voting for rich whites!
No one:
Nothing:
Not a single f***ing soul:
Spanish Empire: DING DONG YOUR RELIGION IS WRONG!
"Lettuce" stop making vegetable puns. We don't carrot all about them and they're not a-peas-ing.
I would rather be drugged and robbed by Cardi B than listen to her f***ing music.
This is an a-maze-ing joke!
so my best friend’s boyfriend broke up with her and she started to cry.So I’d told her a ‘single’ joke then she said," Go and f...ing die you insensitive bitch!". I later said," ugh, fine as your BFF I will break his body for you-happy now?". She said," sniff yes".
Have you ever tried sex when camping?
It's f***ing intense.
When a kindergarten teacher asks a kid to sing the alphabet, he said "ab3defg." The teacher said, "Do you like 3D?" He said, "Yeah." The teacher yelled, "Okay, do you have a 3DS?" He said yes. The teacher goes into his bag and says, "Say ABCs or your 3DS will be destroyed." He says, "ab3defghijlmnopqrs." "Oh, he learned well." The teacher threw the 3DS out the window. The kid gets it, and it still works. Then he googles ABCs. It goes to YouTube and says, "abcdefghijklmnopqrstuvwxyz." The teacher is proud of the 3DS. The class went home telling parents.
So there was this girl and her horse would not stop following her, so she said, "Stop horsing around!"
Get it? "Horse-ing."
Say, "Hey, you're pretty." Then she'll say, "OMG, thank you so much," or something cringe. Then you say, "Pretty f***ing ugly, aha, gottie!"
A bee said to his naughty son, "Honey, stop bee-ing abnormal and bee positive."
there is a ghost baseball game and one team loses cause of one player so they start boo-ing him!
I ain't f***ing with you, there's 1 million things I'd rather f***ing do.
A duck walks into a bar and says, "Got any bread?"
The bartender says, "No bread here."
And then the duck says, "Got any bread?"
And the bartender says, "Didn't I just f***ing say that there was no bread here?"
And the duck says, "Got any bread?!"
And the bartender says, "You stupid duck! Or should I say d***? There's no bread here. Don't make me say that again, or I'll pin you to the wall with a nail."
So the duck says, "Got any nails?"
And then the bartender looks surprised, and says, "Of course I've got f***ing nails. Can't you see them?"
And the duck says, "Got any bread?"
And the bartender throws the duck out of the bar.
Two times four is eight, now stop f***ing asking me!
