Machinery jokes
You were born so fat they needed two cranes to carry you.
Roses are red,
my life is a disaster,
the children are fast,
but the combine is F A S T E R!
A young peasant coming from the field with his scythe on his shoulder notices an attractive young woman that was doing the laundry in a mountain stream, perched on some rocks near a waterfall.
The guy stops and leans against his scythe, fascinated by the young girl's beauty.
After minutes of watching her, she loses her balance, slips on a rock and falls all the way down, crushing her head on the white rocks.
Thoughtful, he puts his scythe back on his shoulder and walks away, saying to himself "Damn, another washing machine destroyed by limestone!"
What do black parents and elevators have in common?
Neither of them can raise anything without a belt.
You don't want to know why it takes so long to put a dead woman in a mass-produced coffin in a pre-buried grave dug by machinery that is then filled by mourners.
What goes 200 mph and is red?
Babies in a blender.
Why do you put a baby in a blender feet first?
So you can watch the expression on their face.
Q: What do you call a shed full of black fellas?
A: Retired Farming Machinery.
What did the farmer say when he lost his tractor?
"Where's my tractor?"
I’m like an escalator because I’m always letting people down.
What's red and white and goes 250 miles per hour?
A baby in a blender ;)
What is red and goes 200 miles per hour?
A baby in a blender.
Time is like a machine, it slows down when beaten.
What do lesbians and mechanics have in common?
They both use strap on tools.
Two windmills are standing in a field and one asks the other, "What kind of music do you like?" The other says, "I'm a big metal fan."
Two wind turbines were standing on a hill.
One asks, "What's your favorite type of music?"
The other one says, "I'm a big metal fan."
Ignition of the bus engine.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=HrdQcalibEo
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=GC7S6BZVXkI
So there were these two wind turbines standing in a field, and one of them asks the other, "What kind of music do you like?"
The other thinks for a moment and says, "I'm a big metal fan."
I just quit my job at a can crushing factory.
It was soda-pressing.