Incident jokes
My dad died in 9/11, and that was the second worst thing that happened to me with a plane, next to Soul Plane.
Every 911 joke isn't that good.
Well, at least not until they come crashing down.
Why are school shootings branded “very American”?
1. They usually happen in the USA.
2. They’re like the Fourth of July: there’s a lot of loud banging and kids screaming.
I told a 9/11 joke to my friends today.
It didn't land well.
One day, little Johnny was playing with his toys and looked out the window. He saw the neighbor's kid laying face-first in the grass, not breathing.
Little Johnny continued to shoot his nerf gun at the neighbor's big booty cheeks. No movement at all. After little Johnny went to get a snack, he looked out the window again and the kid was gone.
Little Johnny went to the neighbors and said, "I'm sorry to hear that your child has gone missing."
Plane crash in China... pilots names released in the incident are as follows:
Sum Ting Wong.
Wei Toh Low.
Ho Lee Fuk.
Ban Din Ouch.
What's the best thing about 9/11 jokes...
They make you collapse with laughter because the Twin Towers collapsed.
Up into the sky so very far, here comes Dr. Seuss! "ALLAHU AKBAR", at the ripe old age of 97, he committed 9/11.
Did you know Princess Diana was on the radio the night she died?
To be honest, she was on the whole dashboard too.
Will Smith's slap was like 9/11. It came in unexpectedly and will go down in history.
Who are the fastest readers?
9/11 victims.
Why did the people in 9/11 not call 911? Because it would call the pilots.
RIP Harambe.
I was walking down the streets of Manchester when suddenly I saw Penaldo getting arrested! I heard the officer say, “This time I give you warning, there will be no penalty.”
That’s when Penaldo asked, “No penalty?!” and punched the police officer.
Shame on you Penaldo!
Why did Jeffrey get blood on his shoe?
Because this teen just started her period!
Why did Michael Jackson go to jail? He was feeling a little Randy.
Where did Tanner go during the 9/11 terrorist attack?
Everywhere.
Did you hear about Alicia's car accident?
She was really drunk and all over the road until she was all over the road.
One day, a man was walking in an alley when a crackhead attacks him. So the man shoots him in the head and runs inside his home. When he goes to his wife, she asks him if he saw her dad.
Last night, I burned an orphanage. There was one survivor who said I would regret it. I said, "What are you gonna do? Tell your parents?"