Incident jokes
Why did Sally not come home from school today?
Because she died by a flying brick!
Are people still mad at Hasan from that dog incident? All he wanted to do was become the world’s first lightningbender.
USS Liberty. Never forget.
It was bombed and destroyed by the Israeli airforce. Thirty-four dead, 171 wounded. The official story says “accident,” yet an American flag was clearly visible on the ship.
Motive: An attempt to cut off our foreign intelligence on Israel? Blame the bombing on an Arab country?
Just imagine if any other nation bombed an American ship...
A disabled kid kept throwing up in class.
So I threw him out the window!
A guy threatened to touch me yesterday...
I guess making 9/11 jokes at the airport is better than shouting "He's got a gun!" at the airport.
What did Chris Brown say the first time he saw Rihanna?
I’d hit that.
Yesterday during the storm, there was a blackout, so I shot him.
I just prevented an 11-year-old from getting assaulted.
I decided to go home.
"Officer, I drop kicked that child in self-defense." -Techno
Got fired from the bank yesterday.
They caught me drinking on the job.
Can you imagine the last thing that went through the minds of 9/11 victims?
Well, probably the person in front of them.
What’s the difference between a firefighter and Snoop Dogg?
Snoop Dogg inhaled less smoke during 9/11.
Osama bin Laden rated America.
He gave us a 9/11.
What makes 9/11 an inside job?
Someone started calling it 10/7.
Today in class, I screamed "Jenga!"
We were watching a 9/11 documentary.
"Did you hear about the flasher who exposed himself to two elderly ladies in Central Park? One had a stroke. The other couldn’t quite reach."
Did you hear about the man who jumped off a bridge in France? He was in Seine.
Did you hear about the boy who got raped by a group of women in the park whilst jogging? Now there are lots of male joggers in the area.
A man sees a crying woman by a pond. She is in a wheelchair and has no arms or legs.
He asks her why she is crying, and she answers that she has never been hugged. Feeling pity, he hugs her, then jogs away.
The next day, he finds her crying again, and she says she has never been kissed. The man kisses her and jogs away again.
On the third day, the man sees her crying and asks her thrice. She tells him she has never been fucked. The man picks her up and throws her in the pond, telling her, "You're fucked now!"