Mishap jokes
Don't turn the toaster sideways, worst mistake of my life.
Why did the rapper get kicked out of the grocery store?
He kept dropping the BEETS!
I put glue in a man :)
How it be when the new guy takes too long...
Hay Danny, it's me Johnny.
Johnny: Boss says to kill the guy in red. Point the gun at his head.
Danny: Ok, target locked. 3... 2... 1... bang.
Johnny: Danny, hope you did not get the man in red.
Danny: OH MY BRO FOR REALL.
Why did Shelley fall off the swing? She had no arms.
Today my toilet paper ran across the road, but it got stuck in the crack.
My dad went for the milk, but he left his wheelchair.
My friend nearly drowned in her bowl of muesli the other day. She was pulled in by a strong "currant."
Why did Susie fall off the swing?
Because she had no arms.
"Knock knock."
"Who's there?"
"Not Susie!"
Why did my mother buy me a Honda? She knows I can't move, so she pushed my wheelchair with me in it into the ocean. I survived just by a second, but a shark got my wheelchair, fucking bitch.
Today sucked. My friend fell off a cliff, and I went to jail.
Why did Sally fall off the swing?
Because there's too many jokes about Sally.
Why couldn’t little Susie stay on the swing?
She had no arms.
Knock knock.
Who’s there?
Not Susie.
One day I was eating a banana, and one my friend was eating in the balcony, so I threw my banana on his balcony. He stepped on it, so he got slipped, and one yogi was passing by me, so my friend's banana fell on his head, and he got a very nice shining half-eaten banana choti on his golden smooth head.
A man ate a glue stick. It tasted bad. He died. Hahahahah!
Why did the orphan fall off the mountain? Because his parents let go.
Why did the kid drop his ice cream cone?
He got ran over by a bus.
Why did Sally get a black eye?
She tried to play patty cake!
Me: I know how to use a microwave!
Also me: Mom! The microwave is on fire!
Did you hear about the man who backed into a meat grinder?
I guess you could say... he was a little behind on his work.