Im Jokes

Popular girl: Sorry I'm late.

Teacher: Why are you late!

Girl: I need my beauty sleep.

Nerd: Well, you might need to hibernate because you ain't pretty.

One day I'm walking and I saw Josh B. He's sucking balls and Marco jump[s], and we got [an] earthquake, and I say, "Yamate."

So, you're human, huh? Well, I'm a skeleton, so not much gets under my skin.

What does "bitch" mean?

Son asked father, father said it means "you're handsome." Son said, "OK, you're a bitch." Father: "Of course not, I'm not a bitch!"

I think I'm a red zebra!! Cuz I'm stripped red, iykwim.

The image shows a yellow cartoon duck standing in a dark room, with a sword visible behind it. Above the duck are speech bubbles with text: 'im not gonna ask you again where are the grapes'

I didn't ask: ❌

I'm sorry, but it doesn't seem that anyone needed this information, and there doesn't seem to be any chance anyone will need this information in the future. ✔️

Homeless person says to a rich person, "I'm homeless."

Rich person: "Then buy a house!"

To start, I'm a big fella in size.

I saw a skinny guy act like Santa, so I went over to him. "You can't pull that off," I said. He said, "Then you try it." He gave me the Santa suit, and I dressed up. He walked by and saw me with 45 kids in line to sit on my lap and tell me what they wanted for Christmas.

When someone calls you gay, say:

"I'm straight, straighter than your hairline!"

Sometimes I have this incredible urge to grab a child from school and yell, "I'm you from the future!"

Hi, I'm Madison, but for short you can call me Alex.

Huh, I'm really pissed off. No matter how many jokes I make, no one likes them. 😭😭:'(:':😔😔😿💔💔👇👇:(

Man: Aw man, I'm having a bad day.

Man's friend: Same.

Man: So why did you have a bad day? My brother got hit by the school bus.

Man's friend: I got fired as a bus driver.

Man: Oh great heavens!

I identify as the Titanic, because I'm a wreck.

What do you call it when a man named Ned works at Panera Bread?

Panera Ned.

I'm on a roll with my jokes, right now!

How do you make a body disappear?

You use an axe, black plastic bags, a forest, a shovel, and some ice cream because killing someone and chopping them up and digging holes in the ground and putting dirt over them is a lot of hard work!

P.S., I'm joking and don't condone these actions.