Im jokes

Babe, I'm breaking up with you.

Why? I'm turning 18 tomorrow.

Me, haha, I'm the joke.

Even if orphans fail their exams, I'm sure their parents wouldn't...

Oh wait...

Roses are red, Obama is well spoken, I'm sorry sir, but the ice cream machine is broken.

I'm so fucking bored.

Popular girl: Sorry I'm late.

Teacher: Why are you late!

Girl: I need my beauty sleep.

Nerd: Well, you might need to hibernate because you ain't pretty.

I hate people that hate life.

Me at the same time: Is cutting self at night.

*hides scars* *acts like I'm fine* hehe

Sometimes when I think I'm ugly, I just think of my sister and it makes me feel better.

One day I'm walking and I saw Josh B. He's sucking balls and Marco jump[s], and we got [an] earthquake, and I say, "Yamate."

What does "bitch" mean?

Son asked father, father said it means "you're handsome." Son said, "OK, you're a bitch." Father: "Of course not, I'm not a bitch!"

So, you're human, huh? Well, I'm a skeleton, so not much gets under my skin.

Homeless person says to a rich person, "I'm homeless."

Rich person: "Then buy a house!"

When someone calls you gay, say:

"I'm straight, straighter than your hairline!"

Sometimes I have this incredible urge to grab a child from school and yell, "I'm you from the future!"

Hi, I'm Madison, but for short you can call me Alex.

Huh, I'm really pissed off. No matter how many jokes I make, no one likes them. 😭😭:'(:':😔😔😿💔💔👇👇:(

Man: Aw man, I'm having a bad day.

Man's friend: Same.

Man: So why did you have a bad day? My brother got hit by the school bus.

Man's friend: I got fired as a bus driver.

Man: Oh great heavens!

I identify as the Titanic, because I'm a wreck.

The tables in my class are straight, but I can’t say the same thing for your hairline.

Your girlfriend/boyfriend says: "I'm dating your uncle..." You start crying and you look under the bed and your uncle says: "Damn."