Im

Im jokes

Son

    • Son: Dad, can I get a girlfriend?

    Dad: Son, no, you are only 10, so no.

    Son: Dad, I'm leaving to get a girlfriend.

    Dad: Son, nooo, you are not my son!

    Son: What did you say? *Son slaps the dad.*

    Dad: Good, son, goodbye, get out of my home.

    Son: Good, you can go move to a new home.

    Viagra

    • They say if Viagra lasts more than four hours, call the doctor? I’m just wondering, it’s been six hours and I’m still hard, should I call the doctor or hop on another woman?

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    • Sh

    • If you make jokes about SH, you're not funny, and if you do, I'm gonna assume you're some 12-year-old who wants to be an edge lord. I don't really care if people get pressed.

    Pilot

    • I'm a pilot and my boss told me to fly people to New York, so I flew them to New York and hit the towers. That was a tragic story.

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    • Im memes

    Friend

    • Your friend lost his left arm, and after getting out of the hospital, you ask him if he’s OK. He says, "Yeah, I’m all RIGHT."

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    • Discrimination

    • We need to stop with all the discrimination here! I don’t discriminate! I love all races, even the bad ones, I’m a fan of all genders, even the fake ones, and am a fan of all nationalities, even the alien kinds.

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    • Kid

    • To all the children on this website, hello!!!!! Hey!!!! How is life treating you?

    (BTW I'm a kid, too. I'm Hayley, and I'm turning 13. My B-day is 10/08/2008.)

    Day

    • I had the BEST day EVER.

    1: I woke up.

    2: I met someone I'm sad about.

    3: I had fun and got them back again online.

    But sadly the order was 2nd, 3rd, 1st... XD

    Light Bulb

    • Tim and Tom were at work. Tim said, "I'm sick of this. I'm going to act like an idiot to get sent home." So Tim was on the roof saying, "I am a light bulb!" The boss walked in and said, "Tim, go home, you're acting like a dick!" Then Tom started packing up and Tim said, "Tom, why are you packing up?" Tom says, "I can't work in the fucking dark, can I?"

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    • Phone

    • Me: Dad, my phone is broken.

    Dad: How?

    Me: I clicked the home button, but I'm still at school.

    Dad: Stupid.

    Drug

    • People always tell me to say no to drugs, but if I'm talking to drugs, I probably said yes.

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    • Mustache

    • "Knock, knock." "Who's there?" "Mustache." "Mustache who?" "I mustache you a question, but I'm shaving it for later."

    Dwarf

    • I ran into a dwarf, and he said, “Well, I’m not happy.”

    Me: Then which one are you?