Hey Gwen, how are you? I'm a girl, btw...;)
I can't come in, because I'm too high.
Me: Y’all should start calling me 1943.
Friend: Why?
Me: 'Cause I’m going through my own Great Depression.
Student: It's hot in here.
Teacher: That's because I'm in here.
Sometimes when I'm sad, I remember I have a big dick.
What did the pickle do on the road?
It said, "I'm Pickle Rick!"
Why is being alive so expensive? I'm not even having a good time.
How do you make a body disappear?
You use an axe, black plastic bags, a forest, a shovel, and some ice cream because killing someone and chopping them up and digging holes in the ground and putting dirt over them is a lot of hard work!
P.S., I'm joking and don't condone these actions.
Noose: "Hey man, wanna hang out?"
Corpse: "Sorry man, I'm dead inside."
Some guy asked me, "Are you better than my meat?" I said, "No, I'm not better, I just beat it all the time."
I'm emo, by the way.
Denki: Did you just... fall over?
Bakugo: Tch, no, I attacked the floor.
Sero: Backwards?
Bakugo: I'm talented.
What did grant say? Im gay
im a human syke im pickle rick
Im dead serious about kobe :Kobe in heaven.....
What do you call a fake noodle? An im-pasta.
I want some cheeseburgers just to eat. I'm talkin' ketchup. My n***a mustard on that BEAT!
I'm gonna blow out your lungs faster than Joe Biden thinks is possible with a 9mm.
What do lesbians and turtles have in common?
They both eat plastic. (I'm sorry to the lesbians out there; this is a joke, not real.)
I ran into a kid today. Now I'm in jail and I lost my driver's license.
