Im jokes

I'm going to burn Braden Mitchell Kniffen's house down.

What do lesbians and turtles have in common?

They both eat plastic. (I'm sorry to the lesbians out there; this is a joke, not real.)

I'm gonna blow out your lungs faster than Joe Biden thinks is possible with a 9mm.

I'm not a robot, but orphans are.

I'm dead serious about Kobe: Kobe in heaven...

I'm emo, by the way.

How do you make a body disappear?

You use an axe, black plastic bags, a forest, a shovel, and some ice cream because killing someone and chopping them up and digging holes in the ground and putting dirt over them is a lot of hard work!

P.S., I'm joking and don't condone these actions.

I'm so poor that when robbers break into my house,

they bring me things. <_>

A doctor walks into his office and looks his patient in the eyes, "Sir, you have to stop jerking off."

The man asks, "Why?"

The doctor then says, "Because I'm trying to examine you."

Denki: Did you just... fall over?

Bakugo: Tch, no, I attacked the floor.

Sero: Backwards?

Bakugo: I'm talented.

Why is being alive so expensive? I'm not even having a good time.

What did Grant say? "I'm gay."

What did the pickle do on the road?

It said, "I'm Pickle Rick!"

I'm a human. Syke, I'm Pickle Rick!

Noose: "Hey man, wanna hang out?"

Corpse: "Sorry man, I'm dead inside."

I'm high and it's very hot.

I need some water, but I don't got none. AHAHA.

Some guy asked me, "Are you better than my meat?" I said, "No, I'm not better, I just beat it all the time."

What do you call a fake noodle?

An im-pasta.

What do you call it when a man named Ned works at Panera Bread?

Panera Ned.

I'm on a roll with my jokes, right now!

Me: Y’all should start calling me 1943.

Friend: Why?

Me: 'Cause I’m going through my own Great Depression.