Im jokes

Why is being alive so expensive? I'm not even having a good time.

What did Grant say? "I'm gay."

What do you call a fake noodle?

An im-pasta.

What did the pickle do on the road?

It said, "I'm Pickle Rick!"

Denki: Did you just... fall over?

Bakugo: Tch, no, I attacked the floor.

Sero: Backwards?

Bakugo: I'm talented.

I'm emo, by the way.

Student: It's hot in here.

Teacher: That's because I'm in here.

Sometimes when I'm sad, I remember I have a big dick.

I'm gonna blow out your lungs faster than Joe Biden thinks is possible with a 9mm.

What do lesbians and turtles have in common?

They both eat plastic. (I'm sorry to the lesbians out there; this is a joke, not real.)

Me: Y’all should start calling me 1943.

Friend: Why?

Me: 'Cause I’m going through my own Great Depression.

I'm going to burn Braden Mitchell Kniffen's house down.

I'm not a robot, but orphans are.

I ran into a kid today. Now I'm in jail and I lost my driver's license.

I want some cheeseburgers just to eat. I'm talkin' ketchup. My n***a mustard on that BEAT!

I'm dead serious about Kobe: Kobe in heaven...

I'm high and it's very hot.

I need some water, but I don't got none. AHAHA.

A doctor walks into his office and looks his patient in the eyes, "Sir, you have to stop jerking off."

The man asks, "Why?"

The doctor then says, "Because I'm trying to examine you."

Hey Gwen, how are you? I'm a girl, btw...;)

I can't come in, because I'm too high.