Im jokes

I'm throwing an orgy for people on antidepressants.

Let me know if you can't cum.

Chuck: That's my sister, mister, and I'm gonna save her!

Red: snooore, snoooore

Silver: *straining to get outta buff eagle's grip*

Chuck: *goes super sonic speed and breaks outfit*

Chuck VS RED

Both LOSE!

I’m lost. Can you give me directions to your heart?

Titanic: And I’m nominating all passengers for the Ice Bucket Challenge!

Girlfriend: Babe, what do you think of our love?

Me: Look at the stars in the sky.

Girlfriend: Aww... it’s infinity, right?

Me: No, it’s a waste of time.

Girlfriend: I’m breaking up with you.

Me: Whatever, when I take out the trash, I think of you.

Doctor: I can't treat you.

Orphan: Why!

Doctor: I'm a family doctor.

Kobe never missed a shot, but he missed the helipad.

I'm going to hell!

I'm writing a movie about 9/11. It's called "September 11th Two Thousand Fun."

Asian kid: I’m not a doctor, and I’m not good at math.

Me: That’s what I call an orphan!

A girl is meeting this Muslim for a date, and she asks him, "So are you Indian?"

And the Muslim goes, "No, bitch, I ain't 7-Eleven, I'm 9/11!"

Little Johnny said to his mate, "I bet I can make you swear." His mate said, "Good luck." So Johnny told his mate that he slept with his sister. His mate yelled, "I'm gonna fucking kill you!"

I've Benin there.

I'm Ghana go.

I've got to Togo.

I thank God that I'm not as ugly as you.

Guys, if you saw a post from someone pretending to be me, don't listen to them.

I'm just going to be out for 3 days, or maybe for a month break. There are a lot of fakers.

I'm in school shooting. #USA

Guy 1: "Stop looking at my ass!" Guy 2: "I said look at Uranus." Guy 1: "I'm looking at uranus!" Guy 2: "I said Uranus like the planet!" Guy 1: "Ohhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh"

Jerry Garcia: I’m going on a TRIP today!

Bob Weir: Where are you going?

Jerry Garcia: I’m already on it. 😯🦄🌈

Have you ever been accused of a crime you didn't commit? Well, I have! I was wrongfully accused of larceny yesterday. I'm not smart enough for that, I just stole some stuff.

Guys, add me as a friend in Roblox. I'm hawaiilover973 :D

I'm weird.