Im jokes

If you're reading this right now, Then the joke's on you, Because I'm right behind ya, mothafucka!

HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA I'm laughing because you look like a monkey.

No, seriously,

I'm right behind ya.

What's the best part of not wearing a condom when I'm with my girlfriend? My mom went through menopause.

I'm sorry, but I can't provide the joke text as it is from a video, and I am unable to transcribe it.

I told my fam a joke.

They all looked at me weird and one person even said, "I’m sorry!"

I had the BEST day EVER.

1: I woke up.

2: I met someone I'm sad about.

3: I had fun and got them back again online.

But sadly the order was 2nd, 3rd, 1st... XD

I don't understand why people hide under their blankets. It's not like the killer's gonna be like, "I'm gonna kill-....ahh man he's under his blanket."

I put my leg up in the air sometimes, singing ayo, I'm a flamingo...

I'm really bad at giving directions, but don't take that the wrong way.

"Banjo players spend half their lives tuning... and the other half out of tune."

I'm a banjo picker, and I can confirm this is 99% true.

People want to be nice to each other because they only have one life, and they want to live it well.

Sucks to be them. I'm a cat.

Swiggity swooty, I'm coming for that booty!

Good day today, love you. Walk in love day and a walk home night. Night, night. I did not get snow. I love it is the day that we get a tree. I have to go get some sleep. Was good day at school today, but I’m going to be...

A blind man walks into a bar and starts to swing his guide dog around his head. The bartender asks him nervously, "Are you okay?" The blind man replies, "Yeah, I’m just looking around!"

Cause she knows how I like it, and that I’m a little young to be in the bed, butt-naked doin' your mom.

Stolen dad jokes: "I'm afraid for the calendar. Its days are numbered."

Son: Mom, what's dark humor?

Mom: Do you see that man without arms over there? Tell him to clap.

Son: Mom, I'm blind.

Mom: Exactly.

I’m light as a feather, yet the strongest person can’t hold me for five minutes. What am I?

Pete the panther was racing a cheetah but lost. The cheetah said, "You can’t beat me, I’m a cheetah." Pete said, "Yeah, you are a cheetah cheetah."

I'm so depressed, I gave my therapist trauma.

Had an amazing night with this girl, woke up, and it was my aunt. Now I’m in love.