Im jokes

Ur mom. (Idk, I'm bored.)

I’m about to go to the orphanage to say yo mama jokes.

Hello ppls, I'm lilkitten ig.

Student: It's hot in here.

Teacher: That's because I'm in here.

Anyone wanna chat? I'm new and don't know many people.

Sometimes when I'm sad, I remember I have a big dick.

"Kylin milks me all day like I'm a cow."

I was sitting in class, and the teacher said he wasn't disappointed in me and my best friend, but not so much in me.

I looked at my best friend and said, "I'm a disappointment to the teacher, too."

What do you call it when a man named Ned works at Panera Bread?

Panera Ned.

I'm on a roll with my jokes, right now!

I wasn't going to visit my family this December, but my mom promised to make me Eggs Benedict. So I'm going home for the hollandaise.

God: I feel like I'm forgetting something... oh no, Earth! *sees it on fire* Oh, it's fine.

People of Earth: *running and screaming*

Santen: *to God* Really?

Me: Y’all should start calling me 1943.

Friend: Why?

Me: 'Cause I’m going through my own Great Depression.

I tell my therapist I’m scared of the 3rd, 9th, and 15th letter of the alphabet.

Doctor: Oh, I see.

Me: Ahhhh!!!!!

Billy: Hey kid, why are you sad?

Orphan: Oh, I'm waiting for my parents.

Billy: Oh, and how long have you been here?

Orphan: About 200 years.

Hi, I’m Joe.

British emo people be like, "Oi, I'm upset."

I’m going to reenact the ending of Saw (2004), except I won’t stand up and shut the door.

I identify as the Titanic, because I'm a wreck.

Man: Aw man, I'm having a bad day.

Man's friend: Same.

Man: So why did you have a bad day? My brother got hit by the school bus.

Man's friend: I got fired as a bus driver.

Man: Oh great heavens!

Orphan: I'm hungry.

Dad: Let's go to KFC.

Orphan 2: Boy, you don't got a dad!