Im jokes

What did the acorn say when it grew up?

Geometry.

(Geometry= "Gee, I'm a tree!")

Why is being alive so expensive? I'm not even having a good time.

What did Grant say? "I'm gay."

Lady: "Can I lick your balls?"

Me: "Ummmmm, ok?"

Lady: *grabs ball sack and licks my balls*

Me: "I'm gonna have to clean these now!"

Lady: "Let me do that."

Me: "No, thank you! I have to use these baseballs for practice!"

Denki: Did you just... fall over?

Bakugo: Tch, no, I attacked the floor.

Sero: Backwards?

Bakugo: I'm talented.

A farmer walks into his bedroom with his wife in bed with a sheep under his arm and says, "This is the pig I'm fucking." She says, "You idiot, that's a sheep!" He says, "Shut up, I wasn't talking to you."

A farmer artificially impregnated a cow. The cow said to another cow, "It's a miracle, I'm pregnant." The other cow said, "That's impossible, it's only us cows in the field, you must be joking." The first cow said, "Nope, I'm serious... no bull!"

Why did an orphan say, "I'm wanted?" Because they wanted to feel a lie in their life.

My teacher says no phones allowed. I say my phone is allowed because I’m nobody, Dania.

I want some cheeseburgers just to eat. I'm talkin' ketchup. My n***a mustard on that BEAT!

Michael J. Fox walks into an ice cream parlor.

The man behind the counter asks Michael, "Can I help you?"

Michael exclaims, "I would like an ice cream."

The man behind the counter asks, "What flavor?"

Michael says, "It doesn't matter what flavor, I'm gonna fucken drop it anyway."

Bye, I'm Paul Badman. Did you know that you don't have rights? The Articles of Confederation say you don't, and so do I. I believe that until proven innocent, every woman, man, and adult in this country is guilty. And that's why I don't fight for you, Santa Fe!

I'm emo, by the way.

I'm always forgetting these kinds of jokes. I also forgot my son's name.

I'm so glad I am not gay. It seems like a pain in the ass.

LOL.

I'm high and it's very hot.

I need some water, but I don't got none. AHAHA.

I'm too lazy to read gags. http://gestyy.com/eiDOWp

A man and a child walk into a forest.

The kid says, "Um, sir, it's getting dark, and I'm getting kinda scared."

The man says, "Yeah, well, think how I feel. I have to walk back out alone."

Ahaha, I'm laughing because my friend is so black his mama killed the clown.

What's the difference between a terrorist base and an elementary school?

— Don't ask me. How should I know? I'm just the drone pilot.