If jokes

Maybe if you get a better hairline, your dad will come back with the milk.

If you're seeing this, this is your sign to go fuck yourself.

Your hairline is so far back that if you wore yellow, people would think you were One Punch Man.

Mother: If your friend jumped off a bridge, would you follow?

Me: Leads a marching parade off the Golden Gate Bridge.

If I had a dime for everytime the Australian president shat himself in a McDonald's, I would have one dime, which is not a lot, but it's weird that it happened.

Listen, my brothers, if you see a photo of her with another person,

Just go to her house and shoot her with your AK47.

Her name was Lola.

She was a loner.

At the Copa.

Then I saw her,

And I got a boner.

The next morning,

She couldn't remember if I banged her.

I asked my French mate if he had a games console. He said, "Oui!"

Friend: You know how I like my women like my coffee... hot.

Me: What if you don't like coffee? :(

Did you know that if you go into an orphanage and tell them a "yo mama" joke, they won’t get it?

Yo, if you don't stop bugging Watersharky, we'll all go down!

What is the difference between a bag of chips and a gun?

If you pull one of them suddenly, everybody wants to be your friend.

If you were a fruit, you’d be a ‘fine-apple.’

If I had a nickel for every time I saw someone as beautiful as you, I’d still only have five cents.

If I fantasize about fucking a UCP Cabinet Minister,

Does that mean I'm sexually Conservative?

If a simp is staring at you, cover your mouth (they'll stop looking).

What would the main character from Martin Scorsese's Taxi Driver be named if he was a Mexican?

Travis Spick-le.

I want to make another joke about Josef Vasicek, but I think if I make the NHL, I'll die in an airplane crash, so I won't risk it again.

Okay, is this the new thing, saying "Gwen" in your "joke," then people will comment and you can make more friends? If so, then I really need to be saying "Gwen" more in my "jokes or chats."

Okay, Gwen, I'll be offline for a while... so if anyone by my name types anything, it's a fake. The only way you know it's me is if I say one of my nicknames. Okay, so yeah, take care of my account while I'm gone. BYE!!!!