If jokes
Why do people use terms like "sucky" to mean that they don't like something?
If something "sucks," shouldn't that signify that it is at least good for one thing and will bring pleasure?
I'm sure you could be the smartest person in your class.
If it were a class for the profoundly retarded.
If you guys wanted to see a joke, just look in the mirror.
I bet Steven Hawking $100 if he could catch me.
As soon as he said yes, I climbed up the stairs.
I'm not saying you're annoying.
But if a yeast infection were a person, it would be you.
If she's not ready for an X-rated movie, she's not ready for this X-rated booty.
If a woman named Susan gets murdered, is it considered a Sue-icide?
My wife and I watched the movie Indecent Proposal last night. Afterwards, I asked her if she'd sleep with Robert Redford for $1,000,000. She said, "Sure, but where am I gonna get that kind of money?"
There was a guy who got his whole left side shot off.
When he was at the hospital and he woke up, he asked the doctor if he was okay.
The doctor said, "You're all right now."
Why is 19 afraid?
Because if you add 400 to it, it’ll be next to 420.
If you got a bowling ball and you stuck it on top of a sack of potatoes, what would you get?
A "retiree."
You can tell if a woman is angry if she is holding a gun.
If I measured your forehead, it would be 100,000,000,000,000,000 miles long.
If your hairline was a river, it would meander left, right, and backwards.
Zis iz za best joke in za west: exsepz if zu put ketup in shawarma itz yo mama!
Stalin asked Hitler if he wants to hear a joke.
Hitler says, “Yes.”
Stalin then says, “Moscow.” Hitler replies with “I don’t get it?”
Stalin laughs for a long time and says, “And you never will.”
Once, asked if I played Scrabble, being dyslexic, I asked if it was the standard version or the deluxe dyslexic version.
If 9/11 happened again, I want to share a selfie of me flying that plane.
Guy with no arms: Even if I don’t have arms, I can do everything you can do.
🎵if you’re happy and you know it clap your hands🎵
What is the difference between a carpet muncher and a female prostitute?
If you want a female prostitute to be a carpet muncher, you have to give her money.