If jokes

If a dog is white with black spots, then it is 90% great and 10% guilty because it half way starts crimes and is a mistake to the world and is punished by the white dogs that are full white and not mixed colors.

Women should be seen and not heard.

But how would you control that if she was screaming "NO!!!" in the bedroom?

She asked me if I was hung like a horse, but I said no.

I'm hung like a person who wants to die, but then the rope broke.

What will happen if orphans use an iPhone?

They can't find the home button.

I saw a kid sitting on the side and asked if he was an orphan, “what gave me away?” “Well, your parents, for a start.”

How do you know if a rapper is lying?

His rhymes don't add up.

If y'all gotta crush on me, tell me now before my dad spends my Valentine's money on crack and alcohol.

If stupidity was a superpower, BLESSEDBRIAN would be a MARVEL CHARACTER.

If brains were taxed, Slade would get a rebate.

If stupidity was a superpower, BlessedBrian would be UNSTOPPABLE!

If I agreed with Leo, then that wouldn’t solve anything. It would just make BOTH of us dumb.

If laughter is contagious, Kris's jokes are immunity.

I may not be your cup of tea, but I am definitely your 10th shot of tequila.

I asked Daveon if he ever considered trying something new, and he replied "why fix what ain't broke?"

Some rules of childhood cricket:

1. Whose bat, his batting.

2. Mother called to go while fielding. Then the turn will not be missed.

3. If the Umpire's decision is not acceptable, the decision of the Spectator, Front Uncle, or Neighbor Aunt shall be final.

Went home with a woman last night. I was greeted at the door by a Mongrel.

I say Mongrel, it was her Down syndrome son trying to process if I was a stranger or not.

Little Jim's friend told him that if he farts, he will give him a tenner. Little Jim tries to fart, but he poos himself, and he is bullied until he puts the poo on the bullies' face.

Why is bungee jumping similar to a condom?

Because if the rubber snaps, you're fucked.

If something doesn't make sense to an Eskimo... is it counterINUITive?

Knock knock. Who's there? Knock knock. Knock knock who? I'll knock knock you out if you don't stop.