If jokes
Vital information: if you find a stray dog in an alleyway, don't stare at its eyes.
Boi, you can't be talking because if someone punched you in the face, you will be the one to apologize.
If your shirt isn't tucked into your pants, does that mean your pants are tucked into your shirt?
If someone says 67 one more time, I'll say 9/11 and swoop right under their feet like the Twin Towers.
So your wife has died, and now she is marginally better in bed than before.
If you really want to get her to wiggle, simply add maggots.
Memes
True story: my math teacher Mr. Ueberoth accidentally marked a Kahoot as 100 points in Google Classroom instead of 10. If he doesn't find out, the grades will be more hyperinflated than Zimbabwe's economy.
If the USA is so good,
Why did they make a USB?
If you get a new bed, you have more bedroom, but less bedroom.
Did you know penguins can fly if you throw them hard enough? Just like children!
Yo hairline so far, that if you put tables on it, it would NEVER end.
If you're happy and you know it, clap your hands!
The amputee: -_-
STORY OF 2 PEOPLE NOT ME:
Girlfriend: What would you do if I won the lottery?
Boyfriend: I would take half and leave you.
Girlfriend: Ok cool. I won 12 dollars here's 6 and don't come back.
If you think your life is bad, then people are discussing the gender of Mr. Potato Head.
What do you call a helicopter, elephant, and rhino?
Hellephino (Hell if I know)
If Jonny ate 29 out of 30 chocolate bars what would he have? Diabetus. Jonny would have diabetus.
"Chelsea is the most consistent team.
One win in August, one win in September, and one win in October; it's just like a menstrual cycle.
If they don't win in November, just know that they're pregnant." 😅
If you have a pair and it runs around the street, what do you call it? A running pair.
"5 dollars if a fat guy can find his penis."
If a vegan and a vegan have a fight, is it still considered beef?
If you drop soap on the floor, is the floor clean, or is the soap dirty?