If jokes
If I measured your forehead, it would be 100,000,000,000,000,000 miles long.
If your hairline was a river, it would meander left, right, and backwards.
If a person with Down syndrome robs you, what do you say? “I’m up your Down.”
Zis iz za best joke in za west: exsepz if zu put ketup in shawarma itz yo mama!
If you measured your hairline with a protractor, it would show 90 degrees.
Once, asked if I played Scrabble, being dyslexic, I asked if it was the standard version or the deluxe dyslexic version.
If 9/11 happened again, I want to share a selfie of me flying that plane.
If ignorance is bliss, you must be the happiest person on the planet.
If blind people could play go-kart, it very quickly turns into bumper cars.
Stacy: Honey, I'm kinda new to texting, what does lol mean?
Justin: I'm not sure, "lots of love," I guess.
Margaret: Stacy, are you there? I don't know if you heard, but Amber and her three kids were killed in a car crash this morning. I'm in total shock!
Stacy: lol
Did you know that if you go into an orphanage and tell them a "yo mama" joke, they won’t get it?
What happens if a cashew falls down your shirt?
It becomes a chestnut.
Why would you shoot up an innocent school... if your aimbot's dead and you can't commit headshots only?
When your mom says it will all be ok if you just......... *there is blood on the floor*
If I fantasize about fucking a UCP Cabinet Minister,
Does that mean I'm sexually Conservative?
Listen, my brothers, if you see a photo of her with another person,
Just go to her house and shoot her with your AK47.
If I died and went to heaven, do you think I’d be friends with Prince?
The only thing that makes me want to stay alive more is the thought that Prince would hate me.
If you get a new bed, you have more bedroom, but less bedroom.
Did you know penguins can fly if you throw them hard enough? Just like children!
Mother: If your friend jumped off a bridge, would you follow?
Me: Leads a marching parade off the Golden Gate Bridge.