If jokes
When you end up pregnant...
Mom told me if a boy touched my breast I should say "DON'T," and if he touched me down there I should say "STOP." But Dad, he touched me both places at once so I said, "DON'T STOP! DON'T STOP!" 😂
It's not rape if you say "April Fools!"
Donald Trump is to white Americans as O.J. Simpson is to black Americans. They will never choose to convict these people even if they murdered or raped.
A sailor drops anchor in a port and heads into the nearest pub. Everyone in the pub is whispering and pointing at him because of his odd shaped body; he has a very muscular body, but a very tiny head on his shoulders.
As he orders his drink, he tells the bartender, "I'll explain. I get this in every port and town I visit. I caught a mermaid and she granted me three wishes if I would release her back into the sea. So I told her I wanted a yacht and, sure enough, she came through for me. Next, I asked for a million bucks and now I am set for life. Last of all, I asked her if I could have sex with her and her response was, 'I don't know how you can make love to me with your type of body.' So I asked her, 'How about a little head?'"
Hello, Brudas, my name Badabeeyeabolamazoqanba. I, forty-eight-year man from Somalia. Sorry for bad England. I sold my wife for internet connect, and I am level thirteen in Roblacks. If you want to get batter in Roblacks, contact me at Gmail@borakoobama. Send me your bank account information and password. Than I well give you all the cotton you desire. Sorry for bad spelling. I kindergarden dropout.
i would try so hard not to laugh if that person was next to me
What do you call a man who likes rape jokes?
A fucking disgusting scumbag with no intelligence whatsoever. If you actually joke about this, you are the reason humanity has faded.
This morning, I was having a conversation with my ex-boyfriend about reincarnation. I said to him, "If you could come back in the next life as anything, what would you come back as?" He thought about it for a minute and says, "A tree. That way, everybody can look at me and admire me."
Then he says the same thing to me. I started thinking about it when these two sexy, half-naked studs walked by. One was a jock, the other on his bicycle. I know I said I want to come back as a jockstrap or a bicycle seat, but knowing my luck, I'll come back as a tampon.
There are two kids sitting in a classroom: Lily and John. Lily sleeps in class every day.
The teacher asks Lily who made heaven and earth. John pokes her with a pencil. She shouts, "Jesus Christ Almighty!"
The teacher says, "That's right."
The teacher says the next day she asks the same question. John pokes her with a pencil. She shouts, "Jesus Christ Almighty!"
"That's right," the teacher says.
The next day she asks Lily what did Eve say to Adam after their 100th. John pokes her again. "If you stick that thing in me one more time, I'mma break it in half!" she shouts.
If I wanted to kill myself, I'd climb your ego and jump to your IQ.
If you think this joke is funny, give it a dislike. If you think it is not funny, give it a like.
If you wait for a woman to get 9 months pregnant and kill her, you will never be able to stop the loop.
I hop on Clash Royale. I see Mega Knight. I cry.
Like if you hate the Mega Knight from Clash Royale because I really, really hate it so much!
Sometime ago I went to the morgue and asked if they took walk-ins.
Q: If a cat says to a dog, "All dogs are liars," and the dog says to the cat, "All cats are liars," what does it mean?
A: It means cats and dogs can talk.
If you're ever bored, punch an orphan. What are they gonna do? Tell their parents?
How can you tell if a Polish woman is on the rag? One of her socks is missing!
What danger does this put them in? Toxic Sock Syndrome!
What will happen if someone kicks you right in the balls?
You will be like, "Ow, my nuts!"
If 6 is scared of 7 because 7 8 9, why is ten scared? Because it is in the middle of 9/11.
All of the sudden, if you're Republican, you're racist, and Communism is a symbol of freedom? What happened to the proud men our founding fathers were, damn it!
If Jeffy goes to an orphanage, he will die. How is he supposed to move?