If jokes

What is a victimless crime in the state of Michigan if you are an able-bodied man who is well-endowed, not white, and not a heterosexual male?

A white male who is heterosexual and physically disabled who is sodomized by an able-bodied and well-endowed gay male who is not white inside the men's locker room at the gym.

Me: “You guys wanna know a cool fact?”

Friend 1: “Yeah.”

Friend 2: “Yea.”

Me: “Japan is RIGHT that way. If we swim all night...we’ll be able to get to Japan.”

Friend 3: “I love anime.”

Friend 1 & 2: “Nononononononononono!!!!!!!!!!!!!!”

Me: *Laughs at Friend 3*

If at first you don't succeed, cheat.

How do you know if you're making a Caesar salad? Stabbing it 23 times.

"If you can make them laugh and giggle, you can make their booty shake and jiggle."

Why did Hellen Keller's dog run away?

I'm sure you would run away if your name was kjdhfkuaysbgfbkuejgf.

Rules of dark humor.

1. Everything shall be touched.

2. If it offends someone, it shall not be touched.

If you put an amputee with no limbs in a snuggie, it becomes a stubbie.

In the new Grinch, the Whos would say he stole Christmas, "Get him!" Then the Grinch said, "I'm an orphan!" That changes everything. The Whos said, "What would they do if Max was an orphan?"

If you're pan, all you have to do is get a sibling and make them get your parents to the outside of the pantry, and you burst out and then say you're pansexual!

If your parents ever accuse you of lying... Say, "You're the one who told me about Santa Claus!"

We can nip March Madness in the bud, but only if we detect the warning signs of brooding, anti-social February Fever.

Spend all night in a dark humor webpage.

Go to an orphanage today and read it to them.

And I'm sure if you go to a school for disabled children, they should understand it.

If you get offended, leave. How did you even find this website, just to make people feel bad?? No.

You are seriously the stupid one here. Also this is not a joke, but the people that do this are.

Like if you laugh.

Hear about the new restaurant called Karma?

There’s no menu: You get what you deserve.

What does a deaf person and an orphan have in common? They both can’t hear their parents.

Why can’t an orphan go to Family Dollar? They don’t have a family.

Don’t mess with an emo because if their friends pull up, you gotta fight the suicide squad.

Like if you like dogs. Dislike if you like cats. Other animal? Tell me in the comments!

If you think the guy calling you fat is offensive,

Try salad 🥗.

Talking about planets with my nephew.

He asked if you could plow thru Uranus because it's all gas.

You're so skinny that if I were to put you on a flagpole, you would wave in the wind.