If jokes
What if Stephen Hawking was the Real Slim Shady, but no one knew because he couldn't stand up?
When the phone is ringing, Dad says, "If it's for me, don't answer it."
Roses are red, Kevin Spacey is gay,
If you'd stayed with your parents, I wouldn't have taken you away.
A man is telling his story to someone. "My friends always said that they would kill me if I wore Gucci or Supreme. On April 1st, I wore both and conversed with them."
"Interesting."
"That's the story of how I got to the morgue," he says to The Gatekeeper of Heaven.
If you ever get cold, just stand in a corner. There's usually 90 degrees.
I asked my girlfriend if she was a smoke alarm. She said, "Is it because I warned him when hotness came?" I said, "No, you don’t shut up!"
Love is like a fart. If you have to force it, it's probably shit.
If you are on here, don’t hate. There will be rude ones, but it doesn’t matter.
What do orphans, parents, and a ball have in common?
If you throw them, they both will never come back.
What is the best Christmas present ever? A broken drum! You just can't beat it!
What do you call an angry reindeer? RUDE-olph!
What is Santa's favorite breakfast? Snowflakes!
What do you get if you eat Christmas decorations? Tinsel-itis!
What time is it if you sprain an ankle or an arm?
Time to go to the doctor! 🥼
If there are 12 fish and 6 drown, how many are left?
12, because fish don't drown.
Student asks teacher, "If I throw an apple and noodles, which one will fall first?"
Teacher replied, "I don't know."
Then student replied, "Noodles will fall first because noodles are fast foods!"
My priest asked if anyone had any questions or anything interesting they wanted to say.
So I raised my hand, he said why don’t you tell everyone what you have to say.
In front of the whole church I said I did not know Jesus Christ was the first scarecrow.
If an orphan wins the lottery, what do they have to use all of it on?
Years of child support!
Q: How do you know if an Asian broke into your house?
A: All your homework and the Rubik's cube you spent a year on and still can’t solve is solved. 🤓🤓🤓🤓
I asked Stephen if he was an organ donor, and he said why.
I said, "That's a shame. I need parts for my go-cart."
If girls are vegan, why do they suck dick?
If one of ya'll could find my weave, that'd be great!
Adopting a kid is like having a yard sale! I mean, if the owners don't want it anymore, what makes you think I want it?