If jokes

If you are ever mad, punch an orphan.

What are they going to do? Tell their parents?

If 6 was afraid of 7 because 7-8-9, then why was 10 afraid?

'Cause it was right in the middle of 9/11.

Patient: Doctor, every time I look in a mirror, I feel ill, as if I'm about to throw up. What's wrong with me?

Doctor: I don't know, but your eyesight is perfect.

If you're ever bored, just punch an orphan. What are they going to do, tell their parents?

Bob: What is the percent of people who are depressed?

Me: If you're only counting me, 100%.

If someone who speaks two languages is bilingual, and someone who speaks many languages is multilingual, then what do you call someone who speaks one language?

An American.

I ask the emo girl if she gets jealous when her phone dies.

Hi Leyla, I have been trying to reach you for a while. Where have you been? I was wondering if you wanted to chat.

If WW3 starts, I do, in fact, belong in the kitchen.

House for sale: five minutes from the beach or eight seconds if you fall.

I can't decide if I like rocking chairs or not.

I keep going back and forth on them.

If you're bored, punch an orphan. What are they gonna do? Tell their parents?

My favorite dark joke is orphan jokes. For no apparent reason.

(If you see this joke with a blue "S" that's also me. I just have an acc now.)

Mom: It's time for sleep.

Baby: Is that what you think, huh?

Mom: *gives baby pacifier*

Baby: Nice try, hobo.

Mom: Well, I'll come back later to see if he's gone asleep.

*few hours later*

Baby: *still awake*

Mom: Why IS HE NOT ASLEEP?!

Baby: Lol, I told you nice try haha.

If I'm holding a cricket ball in each hand, what do I have?

A really fucking huge cricket.

You’re so fat; if you go outside now, you’d be arrested for breaking social distancing guidelines.

If she’s old enough to breed, she’s old enough for me.

If you think about it, then adoption is the last choice for getting a child, so those who are adopted were the last choice.

"Sonic Says", "If you're ever bored and have nothing to do, then just punch an orphan in the face. Who are they gonna tell? Their parents?"

My friend asked me if bees can fly in the rain. I replied, "Not without their yellow jackets."