If jokes

If your baby can unhook your bra, is it time to stop breastfeeding?

If you're bored, punch an orphan. What are they going to do? Tell their parents?

I asked an American if their national anthem was "Pumped Up Kicks."

Is it still called beef if two vegetarians are arguing?

"If you yeet one thing that has been yoted, the yeet gods will help you" - Chris Tyson, MrBeast's friend, and your mom >:)

Orphans can be a robber if they want because their parents won't be disappointed.

What grade is the worst, like if in elementary?

If you drop an emo and a piece of paper out of a tree, you know what will hit the floor first? The paper, because the rope will stop the emo.

If you look up the word "wheelchair" in a dictionary, you will see a picture of Stephen Hawking.

This is not really a joke, but it's a question.

If life is a movie, then is death life? Is we seeing the trailer right now?

If you want to punch someone, just punch an orphan. What are they gonna do, tell their parents?

If I was a cow and could dance, I'd bust some moooooves while I uddered some lyrics!

My brothers kept annoying me.

I told them I would disembowel them if they kept it up.

It was an empty threat—right after I was done.

If you put ice cream on the nutty brownie, you’re serving it a la mode.

If you are what you eat, does that mean all squirrels are nuts?

What am I if my neck is covered in red bumps, my ears are the size of a giant corn cob, my skin is ruby red, my eyes are bloodshot, I have green skin, and fur growing all over my body? Horribly ugly.

If I don't get a bf by the end of this month, Christmas lights won't be the only thing hanging from the roof.

If I fuck you harder, you have to scream "daddy," but what happens when you cum?

How much wood can a woodchuck chuck if a woodchuck could chuck wood? If you woodchuck on the world with that, you have a really deep in, and he says goodbye. When he says goodbye, you're like, "if you."

If you give Kobe Bryant a cigarette, he will be warm for a short time.

But he was set on fire in the helicopter crash, so now he's warm for the rest of his life.