If jokes

Tyler is ugly.

If you are called Tyler, change your name.

Tell the person next to you to spell "me." When they do, say, "You forgot the D." They should respond with, "There is no D in ME." You say, "Not yet." If this does not go as planned, well, then you are fucked for life.

Two friends fighting.

Friend 3: "Cut it out, you two!"

Friend 4: "It wouldn't help if they cut it out... Believe me... I've tried..."

Think about how many more girls we guys could get if we talked to them how we talk to other guys, like when they say, "Can I borrow a pencil?" You say, "You can borrow this hard wood dick."

How do you know if your sister's on her period?

Your dad's dick tastes funny.

What's worse than fingering your sister?

Finding your dad's wedding ring inside her.

If you are going to bully anyone, then bully an orphan, because what are they going to do? Tell their parents?

If you think vanilla and chocolate ice cream is just light and dark mode.

My ex was an orphan as a child.

I should have taken that as the first sign.

If her parents didn’t want her, why would I?

The youngest of the Twin Towers said, "Goodbye, brotha." But the one who got hit, which is the oldest, said, "If I go down, you go with me!"

If mom saw you, she would die and be happy because of you being ugly.

If I had a dollar for every time you said something smart, I’d be broke.

You know stairs, right? The dark... My there is something. I know that if you fall down the stairs, your balls will be crushed!

A cop pulls me over and asks if I have been drinking.

I'm an honest person and say yes, I did, so I take off my sunglasses and tell him that I now had 2 glasses less.

If this gets 10 comments (I don't care about likes) I will write a four page essay and post it, and it's up to you guys what it's about.

I saw a kid crying, so I asked him where his parents were, and he started crying more.

Anyway, working at an orphanage is fun.

If you were to drop an emo and a leaf off a tree, who would hit the ground first?

The leaf, because the emo is always hanging.

If Kobe missed a shot, his helicopter will too.

If you can't stand the heat, sit!

If 6 was afraid of 7 because 7 ate 9, then why was 10 afraid?

Because 10 was in the middle of 9/11.

What do you call it if you find an old organ keyboard on the side of the road?

Organ harvesting.