If jokes
If you're ever bored, punch an orphan. What are they gonna do? Tell their parents?
Unbelievable! When doctors touch my body, it’s alright, but if I do the same to some lady, apparently it’s "harassment!"
If Opposition Expunged thought he was an animal, what would Thearchy be called?
Therianarchy!
If you drop an emo and a piece of paper out of a tree, you know what will hit the floor first? The paper, because the rope will stop the emo.
For Charlie D'Amelio fans, my basement is your home now. Leave a like if you agree with me.
Memes
Yo, if Russia comes to the USA, just know their reboot cards don't expire.
Milk makes you tall, right?
Well how did you get tall if your dad didn't come back with the milk?
If you're taking notes in history class, aren't you just rewriting history?
I asked an American if their national anthem was "Pumped Up Kicks."
If my son was a real man, I wouldn't have caught him fucking another man.
My friend is upset with me because I sniffed his grandmother's nickers. Not sure if it was because she was still wearing them or if it was because the whole family was watching. Either way, the rest of her funeral was really awkward.
If your baby can unhook your bra, is it time to stop breastfeeding?
If you're bored, punch an orphan. What are they going to do? Tell their parents?
True fact: School shooters aren’t dangerous to you if you're the school shooter.
Yep, if someone says to you, "I can't roast trash," say, "Well, some trash is used for recycling, and that is why you have a baby brother!"
Is it still called beef if two vegetarians are arguing?
"If you yeet one thing that has been yoted, the yeet gods will help you" - Chris Tyson, MrBeast's friend, and your mom >:)
If someone says nobody asked, you could say, "Well, nobody asked for you to talk!"
If you’re American when you go in the bathroom...
... and American when you come out, what are you in the bathroom?
European.
If Bruce Willis (the guy in the Christmas movie Die Hard) dies of a Viagra overdose, would that mean he truly dies hard?