If jokes

If you're waiting for a waiter at a restaurant, aren't you the waiter?

If you're cleaning a vacuum, aren't you the vacuum cleaner?

Doesn't having depersonalization mean that you're like the animatronics off of FNAF/Five Nights at Freddy's?

(If you don't know what depersonalization is, look it up.)

Not sure if the Twin Towers were destroyed or if they were just purposely demolished. 🖐️😀

If an emo counts down, don't worry, they probably have only one bullet.

I saw an orphan on the road. I asked him if he's an orphan. The kid says, "Yeah, what gave it away?"

I say, "Your parents."

If your sister steps on your toe, what will you call it?

If 6 was afraid of 7 because 7 ate 9, then why was 10 afraid?

Because 10 was in the middle of 9/11.

What do you call it if you find an old organ keyboard on the side of the road?

Organ harvesting.

My ex was an orphan as a child.

I should have taken that as the first sign.

If her parents didn’t want her, why would I?

The youngest of the Twin Towers said, "Goodbye, brotha." But the one who got hit, which is the oldest, said, "If I go down, you go with me!"

If I had a dollar for every time you said something smart, I’d be broke.

You know stairs, right? The dark... My there is something. I know that if you fall down the stairs, your balls will be crushed!

What do a pulse and an orgasm have in common?

I don’t care if she has one.

If you put ice cream on the nutty brownie, you’re serving it a la mode.

If you are what you eat, does that mean all squirrels are nuts?

What am I if my neck is covered in red bumps, my ears are the size of a giant corn cob, my skin is ruby red, my eyes are bloodshot, I have green skin, and fur growing all over my body? Horribly ugly.

If I don't get a bf by the end of this month, Christmas lights won't be the only thing hanging from the roof.

New teacher: Everyone stand up if you think you are stupid.

Student: Stands up.

Teacher: Why did you stand up?

Student: I hate seeing you stand up there by yourself.

Q: How can you tell if a Western is gay?

A: All the good guys are hung.