If jokes

Me: If my face looked like yours, I would sue my parents.

Sensei: That’s funny, because when your parents dropped you off at the temple, they got a fine for littering.

Cop: Hehe, that’s funny because I gave them the fine!

Is it sexual harassment if a midget walks by you and tells you that your hair smells nice?

I was at work and a few fat women came up to me and asked for some help.

Later that week, I ran into them on the dance floor. One of them asked me if I wanted to dance. I told her no. The other asked me if I knew what was cracking. I calmly said, "The floor."

I asked to switch seats on a plane because I was next to a crying baby.

Evidently that doesn't work if the baby is yours.

If you were born in September, it's pretty safe to assume that your parents started their new year with a bang.

There was a disabled kid at my door. He said, "I'm selling some cookies, want to buy one?" I said, "Well, if you stand up, sure."

If a blind person can’t see, then do they sleep?

They’re the night watchers while people who see sleep.

If you ever think no one cares about you,

kill someone, then the news will.

It’s important to establish a good vocabulary.

If I had known the difference between the words “antidote” and “anecdote,” one of my best friends would still be alive.

"A dyslexic atheist lies awake at night wondering if there really is a Dog."

If you scanned my thigh, it would show up as a package of Oreos on the screen.

If I slap an orphan, what will it do, tell its parents? 🤣😂🤣😂

If I had to rate the attack on the Twin Towers from the Muslims, I'd give it a 9/11.

I made a deal with Satan. I would get a free pass to hell if I serve as a demon lord. So, see you guys at the end of times!

Stop bullying orphans!

What if they tell their parents?

What is the difference between a feminazi and a female prostitute?

If you want the female prostitute to be a bitch, you have to give her money first.

Kid 1: I like you! Do you like me?

Kid 2: No. You never asked if I love you!

Kid 1: Aw, do you love me?

Kid 2: No!

I have no dad, no milk, and no mom, so that means no tits, like if you can relate.

If a Muslim loses his Faith... Does he throw in the Towel?

Why do orphans not know if they're lactose intolerant?

Because their dad never came back with milk.