If jokes

I find it interesting that if you rearrange the letters in the word “Mother-in-law” you get the words “Woman Hitler”.

My husband and I have reached the difficult decision that we do not want children.

If anybody does, please just send me your contact details and we can drop them off tomorrow.

You're so poor, if I ever broke into your house, I'd give you things.

There was a girl called Millie, and she had sexy blond hair, and she wanted to chase me, but I told her she had to catch me first if she loves me.

Once my twin brother died from a plane crash. His last words were, "If it's a bomb, I'll give it a 9/11."

If you think of a president as your king, then the USA got checkmated on November 22nd, 1963.

If you are a girl and your favorite movie as a kid was Mulan, they successfully made a man out of you.

Why did Hellen Keller's dogs run away?

Because wouldn't you runway too if your name was djhdhekdndyekedhekekfjkfurir?

Me: Breathe right now if you wanna date me.

My friend in a wheelchair is autistic and tried to fight me, so I said: "If you wanna fight me, I'll run up the stairs, and by the time you get up the stairs, I'll already be down the stairs waiting," and he started crying.

If at first you don't succeed, blame it on the patriarchy.

If a mentally challenged person shows up late,

Is it ok to call him tardy?

I asked my wife if I was the only one she slept with. She said yes—the others were 7's and 8's.

I wonder if Kobe Bryant enjoyed his last flight.

I only have a few friends, like if you relate.

Based on a true story.

There was an exam music quiz question about Gary Glitter. Now, if there's anyone you don't want to associate with the phrase "shh, turn over, you've got an hour," it's him.

Shit, my bad. I should leave him alone, he just wants to settle down and have kids.

Why did the cop ask the orphan if he was home alone?

The orphan said because my parents have never come back yet because I have none.

They say mistakes make you stronger. If that were true, then whoever made that nonexistent thing called “women's rights” would have muscles bigger than a white girl.

What do you do if your dick is smoking?

Get your mum to lick it.

"If two sides in a battlefield read my book, there will be no winner."

Sun Tzu, The Art of War.