If jokes

Alya, I need to talk to you now. If you don't reply, I will kermit the not living, and if you don't think I will, I will post your OnlyFans photos I get every month for $5.99 a week (high price if you ask me)!

Do you know when the thing of you when the was is where you and if you when you where if I and you where in the thing is where yes?

If H2O is the formula for water, what is the formula for ice? H2O cubed.

I am deciding to do songs on this app... so I am a type songs. If you want a specific song typed I will type just comment!

If you give Kobe Bryant a cigarette, he will be warm for a short time.

But he was set on fire in the helicopter crash, so now he's warm for the rest of his life.

If I fuck you harder, you have to scream "daddy," but what happens when you cum?

What do you get if you cross an apple with a shellfish?

A crab apple!

I like ramen. If you do, like!

New teacher: Everyone stand up if you think you are stupid.

Student: Stands up.

Teacher: Why did you stand up?

Student: I hate seeing you stand up there by yourself.

Q: How can you tell if a Western is gay?

A: All the good guys are hung.

At school in a classroom, the teacher asked the kid, “If you have one dollar and your parents give you five dollars, how much do you have?” Everyone raised their hand except one little girl.

How much wood can a woodchuck chuck if a woodchuck could chuck wood? If you woodchuck on the world with that, you have a really deep in, and he says goodbye. When he says goodbye, you're like, "if you."

If you kayak with a cap on and the kayak capsizes, whether or not the cap falls off depends on the cap size.

If you get out of the shower clean, how does your towel get dirty?

If wishes were horses, Beggars would ride.

If turnips were watches, I would wear one by my side.

And if if's and an's were pots and pans, The tinker would never work!

I was doing a race, and I started after everyone 'cause I fell, but when I got up I realized I couldn't even race, not because I was behind, but because I can't go straight if I'm gay...

If a chicken flies into the plane and the plane crashes, whose fault is it?

A: The driver's. Chickens can't fly.

My jokes are pretty "bone-arifick," if I say so myself. Hehhehe... Get it?

If you have an overdose on a drug and die, then half of the least dose would be a lifetime supply.

I don't really trust the press. Sometimes they wear badges that say "press," but if you press those badges, they just fall over, all surprised.