If jokes

Once my twin brother died from a plane crash. His last words were, "If it's a bomb, I'll give it a 9/11."

What’s the best part of fucking Noor’s vulva (btw Noor is black)? If my dick is right beside Mara’s vulva (btw Mara’s white and so am I).

Tell the person next to you to spell "me." When they do, say, "You forgot the D." They should respond with, "There is no D in ME." You say, "Not yet." If this does not go as planned, well, then you are fucked for life.

It's easy to tell if a skeleton is lying to you because you can see right through them.

If your house is cold, just stand in the corner. It's always 90 degrees there.

I complained to my dad why he never took me to the zoo.

He said if they want you, they’ll come get you.

What does broccoli and sex have in common?

If you were forced to have it as a kid, you’re gonna hate it as an adult.

Why is it wrong to drive around in a van offering children candy?

Because you’ll have more success if you give out video games!

If a mentally challenged person shows up late,

Is it ok to call him tardy?

If all women disappeared one day, it would be a pain in the ass.

If LEO were a spice, she’d be flour... BLAND and FORGETTABLE!

If laughter is contagious, LEO is immune.

If you hit an Indian person on the forehead with a dart, is it considered a bullseye?

If a depressed kid tries to high five a tree, it leaves them hanging.

My husband and I have reached the difficult decision that we do not want children.

If anybody does, please just send me your contact details and we can drop them off tomorrow.

If you were a room in my house, I’d make you the basement.

So I could put kids inside you.

I thought a waitress said to me, "You're good looking." In fact, she was asking if I'd like some pudding.

Who are you to believe if you don't believe in unicorns?

If you were a booger, I'd pick you first.

If hi = hi?