If jokes
These people who are offended by rape jokes don’t even understand humor. They think of humor as like a happy thing because humor makes us laugh and laughter makes us happy, but most of the jokes that we laugh at are filled with pain and suffering. If I take a joke like, how many police officers does it take to change a light bulb? None, they just beat the room for being black. Now that joke isn’t making light of the fact that people have marched in the civil rights movement and people have been racially discriminated against. It’s not making light of those, what it’s doing is it’s taking that pain and suffering and making you transcend it for a moment, and showing the absurdity of the human mind, and that is important. Humor at its best takes the bad things in this world that are painful and hard to deal with and makes it something funny.
And before you go in the comments and say I agree with rape, I don’t. I hope everybody who rapes someone to have their dick cut off. My little sister got fucking raped when she was six, and the guy is lucky he got caught by the police and not me, cause if I caught I would have fucking killed him, so I don’t agree with rape, but I still think rape jokes should still not be taken so seriously!
I complained to my dad why he never took me to the zoo.
He said if they want you, they’ll come get you.
If a tree could be any animal, what would it be?
Answer: A dog because of its bark lol. 😀
If you don’t know the difference between their, there, and they’re, then you're an idiot.
Imagine if a ninja got a low taper fade.
How can you tell if your husband is dead?
The sex is the same, but you get to use the remote.
If a depressed kid tries to high five a tree, it leaves them hanging.
What would Bill Cosby be if he was white?
Innocent.
If all women disappeared one day, it would be a pain in the ass.
If laughter is contagious, LEO is immune.
This was a few months ago. I used to help people load and unload inventory. One day I’m driving home after having lunch with my sister, and she asked if we can stop at the next gas station. I told her, "So you can weigh yourself on the truck scale?"
Person with no arms: Even though I have no arms, I can do anything you guys can.
Me: If you're happy and you know it, clap your hands. 👏👏 If you're happy and you know it, clap your hands. 👏👏
Person with no arms: 😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭
A Roman walks into a bar and asks for a Martinus.
"Don't you mean a martini?" asks the bartender.
The Roman replies, "If I wanted a double, I would have asked for one!"
It's easy to tell if a skeleton is lying to you because you can see right through them.
I asked the emo kid if he was depressed that his phone died before him.
If we send more mosquitoes to Africa, we could save more mosquitoes from dying of AIDS.
Ms. Smith: Johnny, when I was a little girl, I was told if I made ugly faces, it would freeze, and I would stay like that.
Little Johnny: Well, Ms. Smith, you can't say you weren't warned.
Why is it wrong to drive around in a van offering children candy?
Because you’ll have more success if you give out video games!
If a pregnant lady murders someone, does the child get an assist?
If your house is cold, just stand in the corner. It's always 90 degrees there.