If jokes
What do orgasms and impulses have in common?
I don’t care if they have either of them.
I asked my wife if I was the only one she slept with. She said yes—the others were 7's and 8's.
If at first you don't succeed, blame it on the patriarchy.
I wonder if Kobe Bryant enjoyed his last flight.
If laughter is contagious, LEO is immune.
Memes
This was a few months ago. I used to help people load and unload inventory. One day I’m driving home after having lunch with my sister, and she asked if we can stop at the next gas station. I told her, "So you can weigh yourself on the truck scale?"
I complained to my dad why he never took me to the zoo.
He said if they want you, they’ll come get you.
If a tree could be any animal, what would it be?
Answer: A dog because of its bark lol. 😀
If LEO were a spice, she’d be flour... BLAND and FORGETTABLE!
If you want to punch someone, just punch an orphan. What are they gonna do, tell their parents?
How to cure boredom:
If you're bored, punch an orphan. What are they gonna do? Tell their parents?
Tyler is ugly.
If you are called Tyler, change your name.
I heard the Kardashians were going on a cruise soon.
As if there's not already enough plastic in the ocean.
What did one saggy boob say to the other saggy boob?
"If we don't get some support soon, people will start to think we are balls."
If you mixed the Iraq wheat scandal with the basics card paying other people's dole to your wife and tumble dried it in a royal commission that made your priestly mates look bad, what would you get?
Tony Abbott's career.
What do you do if your dick is smoking?
Get your mum to lick it.
"If your enemy is kicking your ass, blame it on the lag."
-- Sun Tzu, The Art of War
"If two sides in a battlefield read my book, there will be no winner."
Sun Tzu, The Art of War.
I called the suicide hotline in Afghanistan, and they got excited and asked if I could drive a B-52.
If a woman says she needs to set boundaries between you and her, you would be crossing it if you are a Mexican.