If jokes

Your mama is so fat, you can't tell if she's pregnant or not.

How do you know if a rapist loves you?

He will rape you many times.

If you don't like the video in 10 seconds, James Charles will sleep with you tonight.

If bedbugs live in beds, where do cockroaches live?

If you're feeling mad, punch an autistic kid. What's he gonna do, blabber to the teacher?

Don't see why people say that babysitting a toddler is hard. You just grease the bathtub, put them inside with some food and drink, and go do your business. I guarantee you that they will still be there when you return.

If you stay in the house, you might need to use sound cancelling headphones too, though.

What if you put a scared homosexual guy and an angry homophobic guy inside a stable?

Hmm, let's see, if the homosexual guy has some good luck, maybe he will meet a super unicorn and help him out to defeat the angry homophobic guy :D

A pedophile brings his eight-year-old daughter to the doctor's office. The doctor asked her if she would like some candy? Her father replies, "Please, no more candy for her. I gave her enough today."

If I had a genie grant me wishes, I wouldn't wish for a million pounds. I'd just wish that every time I buy something I just have the right amount of money in my pocket at the time.

If she’s old enough to smoke, She’s old enough to choke.

If she’s old enough to pee, She’s old enough for me.

I am the ice cream man running over fat kids with my van. If you touch my van, I’ll smack you in the face with a frying pan. If you steal ice cream, I’ll shoot you in the face with a fudge machine.

Most of the people here: That's not funny, lots of people died.

Bruh, why are you in here if you can't take a joke?

What do birds and children have in common?

If you shoot them, they die.

To all those who say this is a joke, it isn't. It's a core of humor and magic. It's a part of humor we can keep. Like if you agree.

If you go broke, you could always rent parking garages on your huge ass forehead.

If I ever ran for public office, I'd make Rajan a call center employee again.

If an orange is called an orange, why isn’t a lemon called a yellow?

My girl asked me if I had seen a gorilla anywhere. I told her yes, I did see one a minute ago at the Central Park Zoo. He said if you don't behave, he will take you back to the jungle and have your ass abandoned for good.

If someone has a gun and tries to shoot you, just say, “Hipity hoppity, that gun is my property.”

If you unironically think someone who killed themselves should have their body in jail, you are honestly such a fucking embarrassment to humanity.