If jokes

"Wow... That ship is beautiful! I wonder what will happen if I ram into it..." - Iceberg, 1912.

Little William punched Little Johnny in the face. Then Little Johnny says, "If you do that again, I'm gonna turn your fucking nuts into coconut juice."

Me to an orphan: If you had a penny for everyone who loved you, I don't think you'd have any.

The orphan: But why?

Me: Because if someone loved you, they wouldn't have thrown you out.

My fitness guru said that if I got raped, it would help me in future marathons.

If Finding Nemo was scientifically correct, Marlin would have changed into a female and mated with Nemo.

If at first you don’t succeed... then skydiving definitely isn’t for you.

I asked the emo kid if they get jealous when their phone dies.

Your friend lost his left arm, and after getting out of the hospital, you ask him if he’s OK. He says, "Yeah, I’m all RIGHT."

Even if orphans fail their exams, I'm sure their parents wouldn't...

Oh wait...

If you say "slay" in my comments I will follow all of you lmao who are signed in.

If Batman is half bat and half human, how was he made?

"He wasn't because you can't f*ck a bat."

Me testing if there is fall damage in real life (falls off of a cliff, uses water bucket trick) dies.

"Like if u cry everytime."

Can you go as a horse for Halloween?

Well, if you do, I can't wait to ride you!

If an orphan has a nightmare, they should run to their parents. Oh wait!

If I had a dollar for every time you said something smart, I'd be broke.

Are you suicidal? Remember, if you ever feel unwanted, just check to see your warrants.

If I teach man he is the fish I caught, will I no longer be a fisher of men?

If you're mad, go punch an orphan. What are they going to do, tell their mom?

My Friend Evan: What happens if the voice inside your head is your soulmate?

Me: Then my soulmate is a F_cking A__hole.