If jokes

Comment on this if you are somewhat like me: depressed, single, gay, and act like you're not burning inside.

Everyone, if I am not online, that is because I am on a vacation, so yeah.

You know how sometimes you want to listen to music?

But everything you listen to is just supremely unsatisfying, even if it's songs you usually love; they are just so unappealing, and you have no idea what you actually want to listen to.

How many orphans can you fit in a bag of chips?

One, if the bag is family size.

If there was a girl and a boy and the boy fell, what did the boy do to the girl?

He fell for her.

If orphans made phones, it wouldn't have a home button.

If a bird flies, and a duck can also run and fly, while a cat walks, why do we drink water?

There were 25 cows, 28 chickens. How many didn't?

(Ten, if you count in base 13!)

If I look after chickens, does that make me a chicken tender?

What did the blonde say when asked if her turn signal worked?

“Yes, no, yes, no, yes, no, yes, no.”

Toast is like parents.

If they are both black, you have nothing to eat.

If someone licks your elbow, you won't feel it.

If you put your ear up to someone's leg, you can hear them say, "WHAT THE FUCK ARE YOU DOING?!"

If being sexy were a crime, you better lock me up.

Not because I'm sexy, but because I have 5 dead children in my basement.

If you buy a Renault Megane, all your girls will be gone.

If I flip off an Asian person, he can't see it.

Why do orphans like to go to church?

So they have someone to call father.

If you're bored, punch an orphan in the face. What is he gonna do, tell his parents?

Can we have sex, because if we don't, I can't like you, big, thick booty!

So let's have sex in bed, you sexy woman, or behind a tree, because shoving my dick in your pussy is a very nice feeling while sucking your ass.

I'll stop with the horrible puns if you can say a good joke.

I got a new job at a trampoline park the other day. If I’m being honest, it’s got its ups and downs.

If a kid refused to go to bed, does that make them guilty of resisting a rest?