Identity jokes
Puerto Rican teen: I'm a waste, a failure, NUNCA LO PODRA ASER (I'll never be able to do it).
The mother: AI NINO (OH CHILD).
The teen: QUE? (WHAT?)
The mother: NO TE PONGA CON ESTA MIELDA OTRAVES! (DON'T START WITH THIS SHIT AGAIN!)
The teen: I CAN'T DO SHIT RIGHT MAMA!
The mother: OOOHHH YEAH WELL TU SI PUEDES ABLAR MIELDA DE TI, I BOTAR BASURA! (YOU SURE CAN TALK CRAP ABOUT YOURSELF AND THROW OUT THE TRASH.)
The teen: QUAL (WHICH).
The mother: MADRE DE DIOS (MOTHER OF GOD).
The teen: AVIA UNA NEGRA I OTRA BLANKA (THERE WAS A BLACK ONE AND WHITE ONE).
*A phone buzzes.*
The teen: Whose phone is that, ma?
Unknown: MR. PRESIDENT IF YOU TAKE AWAY THE CONFEDERATE FLAG HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO KNOW WHO THE BAD WHITE PEOPLE ARE?
*Runs to bag, opens white one and sticks hand in.*
The teen: HAIR GEL
I have a confession. I used to be a Christian.
Don’t bother me none, babe!
Awesome! I much prefer being a Christine!
“Hol up”
A black Jewish boy runs home from school one day and asks his father, “Daddy, am I more Jewish or more black?” The dad replies, “Why do you want to know, son?” “Because a kid at school is selling a bike for $50 and I want to know if I should talk him down to $40 or just steal it!”
"How would you describe yourself in three words?"
"Lazy!"
What’s the difference between an LGBTQ and brain cells?
Brain cells make up their mind.
If I had a dollar for every gender, I would have 2 dollars and a bunch of counterfeits.
What's the difference between me and my pencil sharpeners? Nothing, we're both broken.
Kroll es heterosexual.
Gwen, if you're reading this, the link I sent is for you and your boyfriend to chat and stuff. No one shall bother you! Pinky pinky!
Btw, do you know how I am cause if do then I am related to Kenya and my name starts with T? Don't worry, just chat with your boyfriend.
What do you call a bus full of transgender men? T-Mobile.
What do trans men and Pinocchio have in common?
Both are lying when they say "I'm a real boy."
(I'm a trans man myself lol)
How do Asians name their kids? They drop spoons and forks down the stairs. Chin Chan Chon.
Soy un chacho.
What is a selfie of an orphan called?
A family photo.
I'm so depressed that when I smile, my Face ID doesn't recognize me.
What’s the difference between an emo and a pack of Oreos? The emo’s barcode gets longer every day.
Someone told me I looked gay today. I told him that my clothes just came out of the closet this morning.
If you’re American when you go in the bathroom...
... and American when you come out, what are you in the bathroom?
European.
What do gay horses say?
"Hay ya'lllllllllllllll!"
Going to church, you don't think you are Christian.
Sleeping with ten men, you don't think you are straight.