Identity jokes

I go to get my mail.

Stranger: "Something fell out of your pocket! April fools!"

Me: "You're adopted, April fools!"

Then I see an orphan behind me and gets all excited.

Why are gay people bad at hide and seek?

Because they're always coming out of the closet.

Chenle: One time when I was younger, someone asked me how old I was and I forgot. I had to Wikipedia my age to remember.

Jisung: This is the richest thing I've ever heard in my life.

What do you tell twins that are in love with each other?

Go fuck yourselves!

I was given my electronics test today. Turns out it was given to me 'cause I have the same name as someone who got 54/59. I actually got my hopes up, too.

Once a mustang, always a mustang. - Mr. Shaw

One day I was just sitting around when my butthole began to grow larger. It grew and grew and began to engulf the other parts of my body until it swallowed them all. Now I am just a big butthole typing this. Please help me!

What do you call a crazy lesbian?

Fruit Loops.

What is depressing, alone, chronic, and messed up? Me.

Male Patient: So, I just pull my pants down and bend over for this prostate exam?

Doctor: Yep.

Male Patient: Ok, I'm ready. Hey! That doesn't feel like a finger.

Doctor: Yep, and I'm not even a doctor.

Knock, knock.

Who's there?

Not your dad.

I'm not a robot, but orphans are.

"How would you describe yourself in three words?"

"Lazy!"

I always ask gay people what LGBTQ means, but I never get a straight answer.

How did the lesbian die? Homicide.

How can you tell if a man is straight? You don't have to, he will tell you.

What do you call a committee of emo kids?

A cutting board!

This guy called anonymous said he's going to own me like he did my mum. Joke's on him, I have two dads.

Why do gays get bad grades?

They don't get straight A's.

I used to be a man trapped in a woman’s body. But then I was born.