Wife: I’m pregnant.
Husband: Hi pregnant, I’m dad.
Wife: No, you’re not.
Identity Jokes
During this COVID shit, if a guy starts following you with the masks on, should you be scared, or is that dumb bastard just your boyfriend?
What do you call a group of transgender women?
X-Men.
What is an Irish kiss?
Fellatio from a gay Irishman.
"Our all-transgender brigade has suffered heavy casualties!"
"What? We haven’t even sent them to fight!"
"They’ve already lost 30% of the unit!"
Why can't an orphan be gay? Because they have no one to call "daddy."
What do you call an orphan taking a picture?
A self-portrait.
How are the Twin Towers and genders similar? There used to be two, but now it's a sensitive subject.
Going to church, you don't think you are Christian.
Sleeping with ten men, you don't think you are straight.
My girlfriend's dog died, so to cheer her up I went out and got her an identical one.
She went mad, "What am I going to do with two dead dogs?"
My friend David lost his ID.
Now he is just Dav.
Andrew drew a picture of Andrew.
What do gay horses say?
"Hay ya'lllllllllllllll!"
Bisexuals aren’t gay.
Bisexuals aren’t straight.
They’re graight! 😂
What do you call a chill transgender?
Fictional.
Hey guys, it's Hailey here.
I'ma start off with henlo ;-;
I know you guys aren't going to believe me because of the assholes who were faking to be me, but if you can try to believe me, I'll explain.
So, Jake, we can't really be together anymore, since we no longer can chat. I'm so sorry.
Basically, my parents caught us on here as you realized. Yayyyy.
I don't have time to say anything else. So I've gotta go, but thankyou guys for everything you did for me.
Also, you won't get any response from me so yea. So sorry guys ;-;
I'm fucking retarded.
Why did the orphan become a prostitute?
They wanted somebody to call "daddy."
I am really gay. I just needed to confess this.
A guy goes to Starbucks and asks, "Hey, if I can make you laugh, I don’t have to pay." The girl in the window says, "Okay." The guy says, "A little boy named Timmy lost his arms." The girl says, "Oh no!" The guy says, "And his dad left him when he was 4." The girl says, "Uhh yeah." The guy says, "Okay, I guess I’ll be paying then." The girl asks, "Okay, and what name will that be under?" The guy says, "Timmy, I’m Timmy."
