Identity jokes
Michael saw mommy kissing Santa Claus and asked her why she did that. Mommy said she was a good girl. Michael Joseph Jackson asked, "Can I be a good girl and kiss Santa Claus?" Mommy replied, "When you grow up to be a rich white woman." And now, we know the rest of the story.
Why do I support slavery?
Because I’m white.
What do you call lesbian twins?
Lick-A-Likes.
What do you call a homosexual wrestler?
Gay Mysterio.
Inside a room full of squares, buckets, and tints, there are two inspectors. One is called Mr. Right, the other one is called Mr. Wrong. Because of their names, the first one is trusted more than the second one.
Mr. Wrong eventually got tired of that and worked on a plan for how more people could trust him. He took a jigsaw and he started to cut into his brain and sawed away half of his brain. It was still working.
Then he took a loaf of toast, cut it into half and glued it on his head, and then he made a strawberry cream and sprayed it on the toast. Because people couldn't recognize him as "Mr. Wrong," he was able to solve more cases.
What is the difference between a nun and a prostitute?
One says, "God is my father." The other says, "Who's the father and who is my son?"
What do you call a black man in the army in camo? Incogneggo.
You can’t say “dwarf” anymore; you have to say “little people”.
You can’t say “fat”; you have to say “plus size”.
You can’t say “retard”; you have to say “democrat”.
Why did Severus Snape cross the road wearing an invisibility cloak?
So no one would know what side he was on.
How come you never see a gay person in a wheelchair?
It’s hard to be a fruit, when you’re already a vegetable.
What do the Twin Towers and genders have in common?
There used to be two, but now it's a sore subject.
Why can’t trans men enjoy chocolate?
It uses Hershey pronouns.
What do you call a fat transgender midget?
Jigglypuff.
I’d make fun of transgender women, but that’s low hanging fruit.
Opal didn't hack RapBoat's account, she WAS RapBoat the whole time.
"Explain bear is a homosexual, confirmed."
I met a lovely girl at a friend's house party, so I went and introduced myself by saying I'm Noah, what's yours?
She turned around angrily and offended and said, "I identify as a hockey puck, didn't you see the sign?"
To which I replied, "Bitch, that says hickey puck. If you identify as a hockey puck, then let me hit you!"
I met a lovely girl at a friend's house party, so I went and introduced myself by saying I'm Noah, what's yours?
She turned around angrily and offended and said, "I identify as a hockey puck, didn't you see the sign?"
To which I replied, "Bitch, that says hickey puck. If you identify as a hockey puck, then let me hit you!"
Looking in the mirror, I don’t need a therapist, god damn, I wanna be a terrorist.
Did you hear about the Syrian guy that shot a bunch of people? He was Robert Kurd.