Hygiene jokes
What do you call your mom when she goes into the shower?
A shower ma! (shawarma)
What did one piece of toilet paper say to the other? "I feel really wiped."
What is six inches, goes in your mouth, and it's fun when it vibrates? A toothbrush.
What's the worst thing to hear in a prison shower?
"Drop the soap, we've got you surrounded."
Yo mama so fat, she has to bathe in the Pacific Ocean.
Why did the toilet paper cross the road?
To get to the bottom.
Why do sumo wrestlers shave their legs?
So you can tell them apart from the feminists.
You lost 30 lbs when you joined Weight Watchers, and lost another 10 lbs when they shaved your back.
Did you know nine of ten dentists recommend oral sex?
Ahh, the coronavirus!
You're so skinny you use floss to wipe your butt.
Why did orphans have to drink their own piss?
Because last time they went to the bar, they went with their dad and drank some Corona, then got drunk and started eating someone's toenails, so his dad went to go get the milk and everybody had to evacuate the bar. Then the orphan started walking on his teeth and got listed for the top ten wanted animals in the world, so then he felt wanted and went to go home and had nobody to go to, so he found the beer bottle he drunk out of and started pissing in it so he wouldn't die and loved it. So then someone saw him in the bushes pissing in a beer bottle then drinking, so the person who saw him started recording and posted it on YouTube, and the boy became famous, so now he can feel like he was wanted in life after daddy went to go get the milk, then the little boy became really rich.
ISIS recently brought out their own shampoo: HEAD AND SOLDIERS.
What’s white and sticky and better to spit out than to swallow? Toothpaste.
Who do you ask to wipe you? Your butler!
What's worse than finding a worm in your apple?
Finding half a worm in your apple!
My bad, but you stink so bad you passed by a trashcan and it yelled, "Wow! I didn't know I had family!"
Q: What is the worst thing to hear your surgeon say?
A: Oops, I dropped my lollipop!
Why couldn't the toilet paper cross the road?
'Cause he got stuck in the crack! *butt crack*
Why didn’t the toilet paper cross the road?
Because it got stuck in a crack.