Hygiene jokes
When a hedgehog finds poop, they put it in their mouths. They mix it with saliva until it's a foam, then rub it on themselves.
So, I took a poop outside. When I was done, I wiped and got it on my finger. After that, I had Nutella, and I thought the poop on my hand was Nutella, and I licked it. I said, "Daddy chill, what in the heck is this crap?!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!"
Why is Johnson’s baby shampoo the best lubricant for anal sex?
- No more tears.
Today my toilet paper ran across the road, but it got stuck in the crack.
You should know it's important to wash your sex toys. That's why priests invented baptism.
What's the difference between an oral thermometer and a rectal thermometer?
The taste!
Have you ever heard of the Russian politician who was so afraid of the dark that, instead of going to the bathroom at night, he would use a metal tin that he kept underneath his bed?
His name is Vladimir Pootin.
You're the type of person to wash your hands after a shower.
Politicians and diapers have one thing in common.
They should both be changed regularly, and for the same reason.
When I get naked in the bathroom... the shower usually gets turned on!
Last time I got a piece of ass was when my finger went through the toilet paper.
Roses are red, violets are blue, Your ass is clean because Randy won’t stop liking [it].
PERSON: I need to go so bad! TOILET: Long time no pee!!!
What do you call it when you get away with masturbating in the shower?
You got off clean.
Ex-girlfriend: "I can smell fish."
Ex-boyfriend: "I can smell shit."
Ex-boyfriend: "Well, how many boys swam down there?"
Ex-girlfriend: "20!"
Fish: "It wasn't me. I don't swim around mistakes."
POO I LOVE POO.
Here’s my song:
“Poo poo poo pooo pooe poop poop poopy.”
Thank you!
What did the kid say to the toilet?
"Did you order a number two because I got one ready for you?"
What caused Captain Hook's death?
He accidentally used the wrong hand to wipe his ass.
Why didn't the toilet paper cross the road? Because it was stuck in a crack.
Why did the toilet paper roll down the hill? To get to the bottom.