Spit

Spit Jokes

What's the difference between a teacher and a train?

The teacher says, "Spit out your gum," but a train says, "Chew chew!"

2

Billy: *spits out food*

Mom: BILLY! We swallow what we have in our mouths.

Dad: *looks at mom*

Mom: Shut up

If you get you get it

Me: Are you okay?

Dentist: I'm just a bit surprised. When I said to you "spit it out" I wasn't expecting you to say you've been shagging my wife.

Short girl: "How do you see up there?"

Tall guy: "Who said that?"

I spit my drink out and then ran away.

Nothing is funny about the Name who died an agonizing death, was mocked, spit on, and humiliated all because were sinners and God saved us so we could be free from the punishment of sin. Jesus is sinless and perfect and loving. How dare you.

What does a gay man that is a dumb blonde and who is a prostitute do after he sucks cock spit out the feathers

There once was a brother and a sister so one night it's storming really bad and the sister goes into the brothers room and asks " can I stay with you tonight because I'm scared" the brother replies with " yea sure but just don't tell Mom" so the girl climbs into the bed and looks under the sheets to see the boys penis and asks "what's that?" And the boy replies with "that's my pet snake" and the girl asks "can I pet it?" And the boy says "sure just don't tell Mom" and the boy falls asleep and wakes up in a hospital and asks "what happened" and the girl said "I pet the snake but it spit on me so I bit it's head off"

9

An Irishman, Englishman and Scotsman go into a pub and each order a pint of Guinness. Just as the bartender hands them over, three flies buzz down and one lands in each of the pints. The Englishman looks disgusted, pushes his pint away and demands another pint. The Scotsman picks out the fly, shrugs, and takes a long swallow. The Irishman reaches in to the glass, pinches the fly between his fingers and shakes him while yelling, "Spit it out, ya bastard! Spit it out!"

3

A teacher is doing an experiment, about taste. she tells each student to line up so she can give them each a lifesaver, so they can tell her what flavor it is. she gives Suzy a pineapple one, Suzy tries it, says the flavor, and then goes and sits back down. that is the same for everyone, then it is Jhonny's turn, the teacher hands him a honey flavor one, Jhonny chews it for a while, then says, "Teacher, I don't know what it is.". the teacher tries to give him a hint and says "it's what you parents call each other when your alseep". immedietly the boy behind Jhonney screams "spit it out Jhonny it's an asshole!!!"

You look like a double dipped chocolate chip cliff flipped glazed charcoal slim jim Mr. clog hunch frap no feet 9 arms 17 stomachs you stepdad beat you with a wiffle ball bat NBA youngboy was in your bathroom spitting on you and now you got herpes on your left side cheek

As a straight son one day I ask my mom have your ever quit in something that you did before. My mom said no I never quit in anything. So ask my when you give a blow job you ever spit, then my mom said what did I say quitters are for spitters.