Hygiene jokes
In Alabama... How do you know your sister is having periods? Your dad's penis tastes like blood.
What disease do you get from shoving a dirty, rusty piece of metal up your ass? Tetanus.
What did the cannibal do after he dumped his girlfriend?
Wiped his ass.
Why couldn’t the toilet paper make it across the road?
It got stuck in a crack.
What's the difference between a hipster and a hockey player? A hockey player changes his pads every third period.
Why couldn’t the toilet paper cross the street? Because it got stuck in a crack :)
A man walks into a restaurant. The waitress hands him a menu and it says: "Hot dog: $2, Hamburger: $5, Blowjob: $10."
He asks the waitress, "Are you the one who gives the hand jobs?"
She says, "Yes, I am."
He tells her, "Good. Can you go wash your goddamn hands? Because I want a hot dog."
You know it's so hard to clean my sex toys. Thank you, Jesus, for creating baptism.
Yo mama so disgusting that when she took a shower, the water turned into ditchwater.
What's the difference between a hippie chick and a hockey player?
A hockey player showers after 3 periods.
What do you call sex with a hoover?
Clean sex.
Did you know toilets, while you're at work, eat your toilet paper?
How do you turn a cat into a fish?
Tell your girl not to wash down there.
Tork Poettschke says to Charles Bukowski: "You have beautiful teeth! Are they also available in white?"
Why didn't the toilet paper cross the road?
It didn't want to get stuck in any more cracks!
Have you ever tried anal bleaching?
It really helps assholes lighten up.
Q: Why was the potty sad?
A: Diarrhea
Why is Fairy's washing up liquid the best form of lubricant for anal sex?
No more tears.
Knock it out, you poo-a-loo, go get your loo.
What's the difference between a sidewalk, a drug dealer, and a prostitute?
A: A sidewalk's crack doesn't leave an odor!