What did the bottle of conditioner do on the toilet?
Shampoo.
How many dead babies does it take to clean my refrigerator?.....it gotta be more than 4 because the fridge is still dirty.
PERSON: I need to go so bad!
TOILET: Long time no pee!!!
Don’t fart in an Apple Store.
It has no Windows.
Last time I got a piece of ass was when my finger went through the toilet paper.
Do you know the difference between toilet paper and a shower curtain?
So you're the one!
So I caught my girlfriend masturbating with a carrot. My first reaction was "Shit, I was gonna eat that later, but now it’s gonna taste like carrots!"
Women are like rolls of toilet paper. They are either really cheap or expensive, you use them a lot, and they deal with a lot of sh*t.
Why did the toilet paper roll down the hill?
To get to the bottom.
What did one piece of toilet paper say to the other? "I feel really wiped."
What do you call it when you get away with masturbating in the shower?
You got off clean.
What do you call it when a girl on her period goes swimming?
A blood bath.
Today, there was a big test for Little Timmy. During the test, Timmy had to take a really huge shit. So, he rushed to the bathroom. He took a while in there.
When he was done, he realized there was no more toilet paper left. Since there was nothing around him to use, the only thing he could do was wipe with his hand. His time in the bathroom was up, and he needed to finish that test! He didn’t have time to wash his hands. So, he hurried back. The problem was, the hand he wiped with was his right hand. He used his left hand to complete the test, which made him fail. When he got home, his mother was standing there crossing her arms. “Timmy, the teacher had called and said you wrote sloppy on your test. Why is that?” Timmy replied, “Oh, it’s because I caught a leprechaun with my right hand, but if I opened it, my classmates would scare him away, so I had to use my left.” Timmy’s mother glared at him with disbelief. “Timmy, I don’t believe you. Now open your hand!” Timmy did so and opened his hand. “See, mother? I said you’d scare the shit out of him!”
Knock it out, you poo-a-loo, go get your loo.
Yo mama so smelly, she’s even banned from the perfume store!
What does a cannibal do after he dumps his girlfriend?
He wipes his ass.
Why did the toilet roll roll down the hill? To get to the bottom!
Your friend took a shower and used Pantene but i got a watermelon to keep me clean
If you're gonna razor yourself, you might as well have shaving cream.
Did you know that towels are the leading cause of dry skin?
