Hygiene jokes
Did you know you don't actually wash your hands?
They wash each other while you stand there looking at them like a creep.
What caused Captain Hook's death?
He accidentally used the wrong hand to wipe his ass.
I have to take out the trash, but I couldn't find you.
What do you call a suicide bomber under the water?
A bath bomb.
Your breath is so bad that when Santa came to your house for your present, he brought toothpaste.
You should know it's important to wash your sex toys. That's why priests invented baptism.
Y'all smell like ass!
Why are people surprised by Johnny Depp having $30,000 wine bills, domestic violence accusations, rampant substance abuse, poor hygiene, and the looks of a predator?
He grew up a Florida Man, after all.
I’m literally scratching my itchy balls right now.
You're so poor, you use the same toilet paper every time you take a poop!
How do you get a hippy pregnant?
Cum on her feet and let the flies do the rest.
If you drop soap on the floor, is the floor clean, or is the soap dirty?
Badminton: Your breath is so bad that you have to take a mint before you go on Fortnite.
Badminton: Your breath is so bad that you have to take a mint before you go on Fortnite.
Singing in the shower is fun, until you get soap in your mouth.
Then it's a soap opera.
You should always wash your sex toys. That's why priests baptize babies.
Two nuns in a bathtub.
One nun asks, "Where's the soap?"
The other nun says, "It sure does."
Why is Johnson’s baby shampoo the best lubricant for anal sex?
- No more tears.
I always keep anti-fungal spray with me... because I don't want to share my girlfriend with anyone.
What do feminists and tampons have in common?
They're both stuck-up cunts.