I have had an obsession with soap. Don’t worry, I am all clean now!
Life is like a roll of toilet paper. The closer you get to the end, the faster it goes, and everyone is trying to shit on ya.
What do bubbles get when they’re sick?
The suds.
KFC doesn’t use toilet paper because it is finger lickin good
What does the starship Enterprise & toilet paper have in common?
Answer: They both circle Ur-Anus looking for Kling-Ons!
Why can't the toilet paper be cheeky?
It's between cheeks at the moment.
I ain't shaking anyone's hand, not because of the Coronavirus... I ain't shaking anyone's hand because y'all out of toilet paper!
Toothbrush says I have the worst job ever. Toilet paper says you think your job shity.
How can toilet paper decorate your house?
Shit sticks everywhere.
I got in touch with my inner self today, it's the last time I use 1-ply toilet roll.
Poooooooooooooooooooooop!
Kid: Licks money.
Mom: Hey, don’t lick the money. It is dirty.
Kid: Is that why they call people filthy rich?
What time do babies get dirty?
Playtime.
Why was the astronaut washing her hands?
She was getting ready to eat launch.
Badass Toilet Paper Company: We don't take shit off of anyone.
Dirty Joke: A boy fell in the mud.
Clean Joke: He took a bath with bubbles.
Dirty Joke: Bubbles was the girl next door.
Poopies in my undies.
If there is a hair, the meat is ruined.
Yeah, she called me "Pledge" because I knocked the dust off it.
Why is Johnson's baby shampoo the best lubricant for anal sex?
- No more tears.
