Hygiene jokes
My sister just sits on the toilet with her iPad, then I go to do something at the sink and she says, "Bella, give me toilet paper!" Then I am annoyed, like super annoyed.
Why did you put your dirty ass feet in my grits without telling me all this?
Because I forgot to wash and dry them with a paper towel.
Ex-girlfriend: "I can smell fish."
Ex-boyfriend: "I can smell shit."
Ex-boyfriend: "Well, how many boys swam down there?"
Ex-girlfriend: "20!"
Fish: "It wasn't me. I don't swim around mistakes."
You can pick your friends, and you can pick your nose 👃, but you can't pick your friends' noses 👃 👃 👃.
Have you ever heard of the Russian politician who was so afraid of the dark that, instead of going to the bathroom at night, he would use a metal tin that he kept underneath his bed?
His name is Vladimir Pootin.
What's at least 6 inches long and goes in your mouth, and it's more fun if it vibrates?
A toothbrush.
POO I LOVE POO.
Here’s my song:
“Poo poo poo pooo pooe poop poop poopy.”
Thank you!
What's the difference between an oral thermometer and a rectal thermometer?
The taste!
Ex-girlfriend: “I can smell fish.”
Ex-boyfriend: “I can smell sh*t.”
Ex-boyfriend: “Well, how many boys swam down there?”
Ex-girlfriend: “20!”
Fish: “Wasn’t me, I don’t swim around mistakes.”
When Sara gets naked in the shower, she turns her taps on :)
Roses are red, violets are blue, Your ass is clean because Randy won’t stop liking [it].
The way you are so ugly your parents even regret the day you were born.
The way you are so black when your mom is bathing you in the dark, she has to put flour in the water to see you.
🤣🤣🤣
You smell!
Today my toilet paper ran across the road, but it got stuck in the crack.
What did the kid say to the toilet?
"Did you order a number two because I got one ready for you?"
What happened to the cheetah that took too many baths?
The cheetah became spotless!
My dog went through my bathroom garbage, and for some reason, my sister put a bunch of ketchup packets in there...
"Do you know the difference between wallpaper and toilet paper?" Replies, "No." "Gross!"
Why can't the toilet paper be cheeky?
It's between cheeks at the moment.
Why is there no toilet paper at KFC?
Because it's finger lickin' good!