You're so full of shit that the toilet's jealous.
Politicians and diapers have one thing in common.
They should both be changed regularly, and for the same reason.
What does a gynecologist and delivery driver have in common?
Whenever they’re hungry, they can just scrape a little cheese off the top of the box.
What's long, hard, and slimy?
A bar of soap.
Kid: Licks money.
Mom: Hey, don’t lick the money. It is dirty.
Kid: Is that why they call people filthy rich?
I have had an obsession with soap. Don’t worry, I am all clean now!
So, I was in the bathroom at school washing up, and this girl walked out of the stall and she was like, "Hey, can you make me laugh? I have been having a pretty bad day." And I was like, "Sure." I was like, "Come here." So she came over to me. I was like, "Girl, look at yourself in the mirror." And she started laughing so hard, and she said, "I'm so ugly."
Here is a funny little prank I did on my sister. So she was in her room when she reached to get her shampoo, cause you know girls and hair, when she went to squeeze it out, it came out oil, toothpaste, chicken breast, barf, and onions! SHE PUT IT IN HER HAIR!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! GROSS BUT FUNNY!
When she got to school she heard kids laughing at her cause the prankster did it again!
Later!
What did the bottle of conditioner do on the toilet?
Shampoo.
If you drink hand sanitizer, does it only kill 99.9% of you?...........💀
A good bath is like a dead lover.
You can enjoy them, that is until they get too cold.
What do you call it when you get away with masturbating in the shower?
You got off clean.
What do feminists and tampons have in common?
They're both stuck-up cunts.
Dirty Joke: A boy fell in the mud.
Clean Joke: He took a bath with bubbles.
Dirty Joke: Bubbles was the girl next door.
What did the toilet say to the other toilet?
"You look flushed."
Don’t fart in an Apple Store.
It has no Windows.
What time do babies get dirty?
Playtime.
What vibrates and is 6 inches?
A toothbrush.
Yo mama is so fat that a whole forest grew on her, but it was sad because she really smells, so the forest died.
You're so skinny, you use chapstick as deodorant.
