Hygiene jokes

Confucius say, "man who go to sleep with itchy bum, wake up with smelly finger."

Bro, tampons look like sperms, and they go up your coochie.

Politicians and diapers have one thing in common: they should both be changed regularly... and for the same reason.

Trump and Biden didn’t get the memo.

What’s the difference between a prostitute and a hockey player?

A hockey player gets to shower after three periods.

How can toilet paper decorate your house?

Shit sticks everywhere.

Don't you just hate it when your grandmas always complaining about things getting stuck between her false teeth, like my foreskin?

Enyaw’s fanny smells of dirty, moist, fishy, rotten egg, dead Elizabeth, pig dick, cow cum filth.

Dirty bitch!

Yo mama is so fat, they had to flood the Super Bowl to give her a bath.

Roses are red, violets are blue. Don't touch the beds, they are sticky with white goo.

Why did the toilet paper roll down the hill?

To get to the bottom.

PERSON: I need to go so bad!

TOILET: Long time no pee!!!

Do you know the difference between toilet paper and a shower curtain?

So you're the one!

So, I took a poop outside. When I was done, I wiped and got it on my finger. After that, I had Nutella, and I thought the poop on my hand was Nutella, and I licked it. I said, "Daddy chill, what in the heck is this crap?!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!"

Why was the homeless lady only wearing one sock?

She started her period.

What's worse than sucking a dozen raw oysters out of your grandmother's cunt?

Putting in 12 and sucking out 13.

Singing in the shower is fun, until you get soap in your mouth.

Then it's a soap opera.

Yo mama so fat, she uses a mattress as a diaper.

Do you know you’re supposed to wash your sex toys after you use them?

I guess that’s why Catholics invented baptism.

Why did the priest invent baptism?

To wash their sex toys.

Last time I got a piece of ass was when my finger went through the toilet paper.