Hygiene jokes
How do you get a hippy pregnant?
Cum on her feet and let the flies do the rest.
What do girls and toilet roll have in common?
They both deal with a lot of crap.
You stink!
When I get naked in the bathroom... the shower usually gets turned on!
My friend's 4-year-old daughter made up this joke.
What kind of poo should you put in your hair?
Shampoo.
You can pick your friends, and you can pick your nose 👃, but you can't pick your friends' noses 👃 👃 👃.
You should know it's important to wash your sex toys. That's why priests invented baptism.
You should always wash your sex toys. That's why priests baptize babies.
Why did the butthole get angry?
So it could wipe every human, snipe.
You smell!
Your hairline is gone because you never bathed or brushed.
Have you ever heard of the Russian politician who was so afraid of the dark that, instead of going to the bathroom at night, he would use a metal tin that he kept underneath his bed?
His name is Vladimir Pootin.
Politicians and diapers have one thing in common.
They should both be changed regularly, and for the same reason.
What can you do if you have a rotten piece of candy?
Why can't the toilet paper be cheeky?
It's between cheeks at the moment.
Hey, stinks, you know why? 'Cause your butts dry!
What does one piece of toilet paper say to the other?
"I'm wiped!"
This morning I woke up, then took a bath with some chocolate mud. At first, when I turned the damn flossers on, I noticed it wasn't water. It was all chocolate mud, and now my body is all chocolatey.
Today my toilet paper ran across the road, but it got stuck in the crack.
What do you call a swimming terrorist? A bath bomb.