Hygiene jokes

How can toilet paper decorate your house?

Shit sticks everywhere.

Don't you just hate it when your grandmas always complaining about things getting stuck between her false teeth, like my foreskin?

Enyaw’s fanny smells of dirty, moist, fishy, rotten egg, dead Elizabeth, pig dick, cow cum filth.

Dirty bitch!

I always keep anti-fungal spray with me... because I don't want to share my girlfriend with anyone.

Yo mama is so fat, they had to flood the Super Bowl to give her a bath.

Why did the toilet paper roll down the hill?

To get to the bottom.

PERSON: I need to go so bad!

TOILET: Long time no pee!!!

What’s the difference between a prostitute and a hockey player?

A hockey player gets to shower after three periods.

What's worse than sucking a dozen raw oysters out of your grandmother's cunt?

Putting in 12 and sucking out 13.

Do you know the difference between toilet paper and a shower curtain?

So you're the one!

So, I took a poop outside. When I was done, I wiped and got it on my finger. After that, I had Nutella, and I thought the poop on my hand was Nutella, and I licked it. I said, "Daddy chill, what in the heck is this crap?!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!"

Yo mama so fat, she uses a mattress as a diaper.

Singing in the shower is fun, until you get soap in your mouth.

Then it's a soap opera.

Do you know you’re supposed to wash your sex toys after you use them?

I guess that’s why Catholics invented baptism.

Last time I got a piece of ass was when my finger went through the toilet paper.

What is the point of buttchins?

To catch flies.

You're the type of person to wash your hands after a shower.

You look like the 0.01 percent of germs the Lysol didn't kill.

When the people that see you cry, that doesn't mean they miss you. That mean they scared of your onion breath! 🐑💨

Just letting you know if people cry when they see you, that doesn't mean they miss you. That means they're scared of your onion breath.