Humor
Q: What’s a good thing about child molesters?
A: They drive slow through school zones.
Why make a joke when I wake up and look at myself?
Dark humor is like water; not everyone gets it.
What happens when two pieces of bread from the same loaf have sex?
They become in-bread.
Who said white people can't jump?
Look at the footage from 9/11.
What's the difference between a baby and a watermelon?
One is fun to hit with a sledge hammer, and the other is just a watermelon.
The guy in the wheelchair at my gym can do so many pull-ups with the wheelchair on, but I said to him, "Don't skip leg day."
Hey baba girl, I have balls, you know.
I said "Uranus!" and the girl beside me face-palmed. I wonder what I did wrong?
What do you call cheese that isn't yours? Nacho cheese. Okay, I can't do this anymore.
What did the shark say when he ate the clownfish?
"This tastes a little funny."
If it is called a forehead, what happened to the five-head, six-head, and seven-head?
Do you know 6+3?
Other person: Nine.
Nein is no in German.
Me: "What's the difference between an apple and an emo?"
Friend: "I don't know."
Me: An apple actually falls from the tree.
I said I’m losing my mind. My friend said, “You didn’t have much to begin with.”
What's the difference between anal and oral sex?
An and Or!
What do you call a 3 humped camel?
Answer: a prostitute from New York. 😂😭💀
Q: What kinda bees give milk?
A: Boobees.
Q. What sound does a sleeping T-Rex make?
A. A dino-snore.
Two men were on a hike through a forest when one of the hikers got bit on his ass by a snake.
The other hiker ran to the village 2 miles away and explained to a doctor there what had happened. The doctor told him to cut a cross with a knife where he had been bitten and suck out the venom, so he ran back to the first hiker who asked him, "Have you got the cure?"
Hiker number two just said, "Nah mate, you're dead."