One day, a priest loses his cock (chicken). He goes to the church and says, "Who has seen a cock?" All the women raised their hands. "No, who has seen a cock that is not theirs?" Half the women's hands went up. "No, no, no, who has seen my cock?" All the nuns' hands went up.
Humor
Why do people keep on making jokes about the twin towers?
Because they go down so well.
I almost had a joke about Parkinson's disease, but I was too shaken up to say it.
What did the pillow say as it fell off the bed?
Oh sheet!
A woman comes to the doctor and says, "Doctor, I think I have cancer." The doctor checks it out. "It’s all in your head," the doctor says. "Phew," said the woman. "A bunch of tumors, all in your head."
A proud new dad sits down with his own father.
His father says, "Son, you now have a child of your own, so I think it's time I gave you this." And so, he pulls out a book: 1001 Dad Jokes.
The young man says, "Dad, I'm honored," as tears well up in his eyes.
His father says, "Hi, Honored, I'm Dad."
What’s an abbreviation for school in America?
Shooting range.
Jokes just as dead as the victims.
How do skeletons have sex?
They bone each other.
What do you call an Indian gymnast? Balance Singh.
How many babies does it take to paint a house? Depends on how hard you throw them.
This is how my mom always threatens me: "I brought you into this world, I can bring you out of it too." That's why I only have 2 siblings left.
I wonder where the bodies are?
What animal should wear a wig?
A bald eagle!
Welcome to ____ pizzeria and abortion clinic where your loss is our sauce.
A guy starts chatting to a pretty woman at a party.
Seeing that she didn't back off, he asked her name. "Carmen," she replied. "That's a nice name," he said, warming up the conversation. "Who named you, your mother?"
"No, I named myself," she answered.
"Oh, that's interesting. Why Carmen?"
"Because I like cars, and I like men," she said, looking directly into his eyes. "So what's your name?" she asked.
‘BJ Titsngolf’
I hope when I inevitably choke to death on gummy bears, people just say I was killed by bears and leave it at that.
If you are American in the living room, what are you in the bathroom?
Euro-peein'.
Two fish walked into a wall. One said to the other, "Dam!"
I would make a Paul Walker joke, but it would crash and burn.
Where did Sally go during the bombing? Everywhere!
What's worse than Sally in a trash can? Sally in thirteen trash cans.
When we were visiting the Hoover Dam, I started to get a bit hungry. I asked my parents, "Where's the dam snack bar?"
