Humor
TEST QUESTION: what looks like half an apple?
My cousin: the other half.
Your Mama so fat, when she fell on the sidewalk, nobody laughed but the sidewalk cracked up.
What is the similarity between an anti-joke and a clown? Neither are funny.
If you don't like orphan jokes, WHY THE HELL ARE YOU ON HERE??!!! WE DON'T ACCEPT YOU HERE!
If you saw an orphan, could you say where your parents at? And if they cry, just say, "hey here are your parents" then grab nothing. Perfect example.
Q: What do you call a gang of emos?
A: Suicide Squad.
Me when the
Some dude called me a tool.
So later I got hammered and nailed his girlfriend.
Guess he was right :/
Two kids are out in the cold, with downpours of snow erupting from the clouds.
One of the kids says something: "Can we build a snowman that is going through puberty?"
The other kid says something else: "Yes. It sounds cool."
After a while, the snowman was finished, and some words jut out of the first kid's mouth: "Wow! Look at that snowman! It's got hair all over, but I think it's missing something though."
The other kid jumps a little and begins speaking: "Oh, I know what it is!"
After a while, a body part made of a carrot and two cucumbers appears on the snowman's crotch. It is a penis and a ballsack.
The first kid speaks: "Icy what you did there."
The other kid replies: "Good thing I didn't slip up there."
The first kid replies: "Well, that's snow problem."
The other kid then uttered this: "These puns would make the most frigid individual crack up."
The first kid then says: "I know, right?"
They then begin a snowball fight.
The other kid then says: "Only the men have snowballs!"
What did the Ford Mustang say to the crowd of innocent people?
I'D HIT THAT!
What does a cannibal call a wheelchair user?
Fast food.
Why did the bone go on a blind date? He was bonely.
I put the fun in dysfunctional.
Hello! I hope you're having a good day or night! Mind commenting when you laughed the hardest and why? Like if you like this post!
A guy walks into a bar. He goes up to the bartender and says, "If I can surprise you, I get a free drink." The bartender was unsure but agreed.
The guy pulled a 30cm long pianist out of his pocket, and he starts to play.
The bartender was surprised and gave the guy a free drink.
The guy then says, "You see, I have a little wizard in my pocket that grants wishes. Can I get another free drink if you get a free wish?"
The bartender agrees without hesitation.
The bartender wishes for 1000 bucks, but he gets 1000 ducks.
"WTF!" the man shouts.
The guy answered, "Did you think I wanted a 30cm long pianist?"
Your kid is so annoying, he makes his Happy Meal cry.
What do you call a suicide bomber under the water?
A bath bomb.
Hey girl, are you suicide? 'Cause I think of you everyday.
I’ve got a joke about Alzheimers.
Um.
Oh no. I can’t actually remember it.
That shirt's very becoming on you.
If I were on you, I’d be coming too.
Why is Mrs. Grapes 🍇 a good mother?
Because she loves raisin' kids.
Is there a mirror in your pants? Because I see myself in them.