Humor
What's the difference between a gun and my will to live? None, they are both absent.
A B C D E F G H I J K L M N. Oh my gosh, I'm peeing on my shoe, no one knows about it yet!
You wanna hear a suicide joke? Nvm, it didn't make it.
ROBERT LEWANDISNEY SONG
Give me freedom. Give me fire. Give me contract, Or I retire.
Jog all day, Out of UCL now. FC Barcelona, I need you now.
Villarreal defenders, They surround me. Big submarines, All around me.
I get upset. Call my agent. I want money. I’m impatient.
I got an Xbox achievement the other day. It said "Trash Master," and everyone looked at me at the funeral.
What’s the difference between Stephen Hawking and a walkie talkie? He can’t walkie or talkie.
What is the best power that man can do? They can move the mountain with their tongue.
As an Autist, I find these jokes really funny. Thanks for the early 13th birthday present, ya'll :>
I told my deaf mom to be nice to the neighbors. She didn't listen...
Hi, I...
Sorry, my cat touched my computer. I don't know how to delete.
The joke is that if you take a cap off a bottle, is it decapitation?
Sorry guys, it's a hard word to spell.
What is a cannibal's favorite place to eat?
Five Guys.
A girl named Rebecca was friends with a guy called Fi. One day, Fi hit Rebecca, and Rebecca lost service.
Rebecca said to Fi, "Why-Fi?"
Knock knock...
Who's there?
Not Stephen Hawking.
Three blonde sisters die and are told by an angel that in order for them to go to heaven they have to pass all 100 steps. But each step has a joke, each joke gets funnier and funnier. And in order to pass them all, you can't laugh at any joke or else you go to hell. The blonde girls accept the offer.
So the angel begins telling them the jokes. One of the girls laughs at the 3rd step. The second blonde laughs halfway there. Finally, the last blonde was at the 100th step. The angel said, "This is the last step. If you laugh you will go straight to hell with your sisters and if you don't you can pass." The blonde agrees and the angel starts to tell the joke, "What do you ca..." Out of nowhere the blonde starts bursting out laughing. "Why are you laughing? I haven't even finished the joke yet!" The blonde replies, "I just got the first joke!"
What is the difference between a woman and my fridge?
Only one moans when I put my meat in it.
Why did I giggle?
Because I saw the ocean's bottom.
What's the most between my uncle and aunt?
My aunt waited until I was 14 to come on my face.
What is the similar thing between alcohol and anal sex?
They are not for kids.
What is a vampire’s favorite fruit?
A nectarine.
Why are orphans so famous for their jokes?
Because everyone says go big or go home!