Humor

Dang... if I could rearrange the alphabet, I would put D IN U ;)

I only know there are 25 letters in the alphabet, I don't know Y.

(Me: How many letters are in the alphabet?) -- (Friend: 11- T-H-E-- A-L-P-H-A-B-E-T)

(Me: There are 20 letters in the alphabet, right?) -- (Crush: No, there is actually 26.) -- (Me: oooOoh, I forgot u r a qt! So its acdefghijklmnopqrstuvwxyz?) -- (Crush: You forgot the D) -- (Me: That's not needed yet ;])

What letter is really hot? T

C = cOCK O = CoCK C = COcK K = COCk COCK = cock cock = COCK

ME SExUAL SRrY LoL

What do you get when you cross an octopus with a Mexican?

I don't know, but man can it pick lettuce.

Why don't paralyzed people laugh?

They hate stand-up comedy.

Relationships are a lot like algebra. Have you ever looked at your X and wondered, "Y?"

Touch your toes and hold them. Then spell "run." It will say, "r.u.n."

help people

A grey humanoid meme character is looking from the left. A hand is pressing a toy alligator into a citrus juicer and there is a bottle of red Gatorade on the right. The text reads: "When life gives you gators make Gatorade."

Ever heard of ligma? Ligma ba--

What's the difference between a piano, a pot of glue, and a tuna fish?

You can tuna piano, but you can't piano a tuna.

What about the glue?

I knew you'd get stuck there.

Yo mama so stupid, she made Patrick run away because he thought it was contagious! 🤣

"Balls" got me like: 😂

My dad said, "Where's Pickles, the family cat?" I said, "I'm sorry to say he's in the sky." He said, "Oh, I see, he passed away." No, I strapped him to 20 fireworks!

Dark humor is like water. It exists.

"I can lose 10 ugly pounds anytime I want -- I'll just cut off my head!"

Do you use humor to make light of your emotional eating and your weight? Make jokes about overeating and being fat as a way of getting along with other people? I was a Grand Champion at it.