Humor
My friend is blind.
So he always says he cannot Nazi.
When fat people smash, it must feel like a huge submarine hitting you.
What is the difference between acne and a priest?
Acne waits for a boy to turn twelve before it comes on his face.
What happened when the gun dealer found his pistol in his shoe?
He found that he had a piece in his sole!
Q: What's black, white, and Asian?
A: A panda!
Memes
Brother 2: We have these weird circles on the street! Government is tracking us!!!
Brother 1: They are just to sense cars so they can change lights. And it's the government.
Brother 2: Then why are there two in the left turn lane?
Brother 1: So one car isn't always going left and stopping the others.
Brother 2: Then why are they one car apart? Oh, to have three people going.
Brother 1: Correct. When I see one car on the first, I go on the second so my light changes.
Brother 2: You monster.
Brother 1: I wonder if they trigger by weight?
Brother 2: HA. Yo mama would trigger the sensor.
Brother 1: ARG. It's OUR MAMA you're disrespecting.
Mother (brother 1): What's going on boys? *looks in mirror* HOLY SH@& SHE IS PRETTY!
Brother 2: I think you should take your pills.
Brother 1: Found them.
*imaginary mother and brother fade away*
Thank you ELECTROBOOM for inspiring this joke/sh!t. Go subb to him.
Btw the (1) means it is just imaginary brother one acting like another brother.
You know what a triangle has that women's rights don't? A point.
What is it called when an art teacher has a heart attack?
An art attack!
I took a bite of my lunch. “Is that a sand witch?!”
How can you tell when your sister is on her period?
Your dad's knob tastes funny.
Hahaha. These eggs surely crack me up!
Roses are red, my name is Dan...
TDM, I have a gun, GET IN THE VAN!
Dark humor is like a kid with cancer.
It never gets old.
Stephen Hawking said God isn’t real, and the Priest put a boot on his tire. 😂😂😂
What weapon does a fat Jedi use?
A heavy saber.
Hands down, syndromes are bad.
Why did the chef cook his eggs on the golf course? Because he wanted them par-boiled!
How did the blind girl get a date?
She said it was love at first sight.
Why is the iPhone 7 not a smartphone?
It doesn't know jack.
Jeffy: I need a new butt. My old one has a crack in it.