Humor

Q: Why did the chicken cross the road?

A: Because chickens are mindless creatures and do not know any better.

What did the orphans do when the bombs drop?

They said, "Allahu Akbar."

I was about to make a baby joke but then decided to abort.

Every time I go to the store I look in the deodorant section and my dyslexia acts up. Instead of "antiperspirant," I read "antidepressant." At least I get a bunch of extra snacks out of my shopping mistakes.

What did one cat say to the other? Happy "meow"!

This one time I said that John Cena looks like crap.

But I realized I can't see him. LOL!

If someone told me to bring up 9/11, they were trying to make a funny joke, but it didn't work.

That one really *crashed and burned*.

Why do people laugh at mountains?

Because they're HILLarious!

These jokes make me want to die.

Why can't a dodo fly? Cus it suicided when it saw you will be born soon.

You: Its nighttime, shouldn't we be heading to bed?

Boy Roommate: Ok, are you Top or Bottom?

You: Uhhhhhhh

Boy Roommate: No dumby, bunk beds.

You: Thank God.

Boy Roommate: But if you wanna, we can...

You: *faints*

I look at your bro.

And all I can see is the real definition of *"Lack of Grace!"*

What do you call onions and beans?

Tear gas.

What do you call a bunch of microcephalics in a swimming pool?

Vegetable soup.

My favorite website.

Uranus? More like urine is gassy! (Uranus is urine, by the way.)

If you don't stop with the puns, soon it won't be so fun.

I have a really good joke.

Do you want to hear it?

Oh wait, this is a bad joke website.

When other people tell a joke, 3/3 people laugh.

When I tell a joke, 1/3 people laugh, but 2/3 people stare into my soul.

How do you measure the circumference of Uranus?

By the rings around it.