Humor

What is the funniest hill in the world called? Hill-arious!

So, a neutron went to a bar. He asked the bartender how much for a beer. The bartender said, "For you, no charge."

What do bananas wear into battle?

Banana-rama!

What did the store manager say when they ran out of toilet paper?

We’re wiped out!

Want to hear a joke, huh?

Me........

Rules of dark humor.

1. Everything shall be touched.

2. If it offends someone, it shall not be touched.

I guess Grandpa took the elevator to Heaven.

He definitely didn't make it up the stairs.

Not all cat puns are purr-fect; some just have their claws.

What do you call a one-legged hippo?

A hoppo!

How do you fit 1000 babies in a swimming pool?

A blender.

How do you get them out? Slurp them up with a straw.

I could tell you the one about the broken pencil... but it's pointless.

My dad and I were talking and my cat left the room.

So I said, "I guess she wasn't feline it."

My dad said, "You've got to be kitten me, that was purrfect!"

I said, "Literally."

Mom: See that guy over there with no hands, tell him to clap.

Son: Mom, I'm blind.

Mom: Exactly!

Did you hear of my new job as a can crusher? It's soda pressing.

69.

Why did Hellen Keller's dog run away?

I'm sure you would run away if your name was kjdhfkuaysbgfbkuejgf.

Sans, you lazybones, get up and do something.

Sans: I am doing something.

Papyrus: Oh yeah, what?

Sans: Thinking up a skele-ton of jokes.

Papyrus: SANSSSsSsSsSssSsSSsSsSsSSsSSsSsSsS!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! I will end you.

Sans: What, does someone not have a funny bone? Oh wait, do you have a bone to pick with me? I have 206.

A man is sitting in a chair. He is talking to the other friend about what they must cherish.

One says he cherishes his family, the other cherishes his parents, and a man comes in, points at the chair and says, “I CHAIRish my Chair” as he pulls up a chair.

If Bugs Bunny had Down Syndrome:

"Meeeehh, what's up, Downs?"

What's yellow and can't swim?

A school bus full of kids drowning.