Humor
What did the calculator say to the student?
You can always count on me.
What would you name a mummified squirrel?
Perhaps... Mumford?
Do you know 6+3?
Other person: Nine.
Nein is no in German.
What did the phone receptionist at the suicide hotline tell the callers?
Hang in there!
Bully: My d*ck is longer than your password.
Me: Sorry mate, it's so short, get a longer one! 🤣
What did the spaghetti say to the sauce? Pasta la vista!
A morbid joke would be what's going on in my mind.
What do you call an Indian man stuck in a tree?
A leaf.
What did one mountain climber say to the other mountain climber?
Man, you are really on edge.
I would tell you a joke about 9/11, but it would come crashing down on you.
It’s so sad because Stephen Hawking can’t even stand up for himself after all these mean jokes.
Granny says don't worry, the cries of pain are only my ex-husband's.
I hate you—if you look at the first letters of the words, you'll know what I mean.
Interfischl
Happy
Apple
Tea
Eeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee
Q: Why is the graveyard so noisy? A: Because all the coffin.
If you don't get it, it means because of people coughing.
What did the store manager say when they ran out of toilet paper?
We’re wiped out!
9/11 jokes aren’t funny.
They always crash and burn.
Want to hear a joke, huh?
Me........
I guess Grandpa took the elevator to Heaven.
He definitely didn't make it up the stairs.
Not all cat puns are purr-fect; some just have their claws.
I could tell you the one about the broken pencil... but it's pointless.