Humor

What did the calculator say to the student?

You can always count on me.

Q: What do you call a duck that's sad?

A: Idk, but it's acting really duckpressed.

By the way, why are there no knock knock jokes about America?

Because freedom rings, but they never answer that door.

Enjoy!

Did you know victims of 9/11 are fast readers?

They went down 100 stories in 4 seconds.

Talking about planets with my nephew.

He asked if you could plow thru Uranus because it's all gas.

My friend who is in a wheelchair told me a joke, and I burst out laughing. I told him he should be a stand-up comedian.

I was given an invisibility cloak by my grandfather, but it was stolen in 2013. After investigating this issue, I have come to the conclusion it was Robert Lewandisney.

That's why he was invisible in every big game since 2013. SHAME ON YOU LEWANDISNEY!

These jokes are darker than the list of victims dead from cops.

Yo hairline so far back, it goes back to Jesus on the cross!

These orphan jokes are getting old. I mean, seriously, haven't you got something better to tell?

Q: Why is the graveyard so noisy? A: Because all the coffin.

If you don't get it, it means because of people coughing.

It’s so sad because Stephen Hawking can’t even stand up for himself after all these mean jokes.

I would tell you a joke about 9/11, but it would come crashing down on you.

What do you call an Indian man stuck in a tree?

A leaf.

Granny says don't worry, the cries of pain are only my ex-husband's.

I hate you—if you look at the first letters of the words, you'll know what I mean.

Interfischl

Happy

Apple

Tea

Eeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee

What would you name a mummified squirrel?

Perhaps... Mumford?

What did one mountain climber say to the other mountain climber?

Man, you are really on edge.

If you're mad, hire an orphan, what are they gonna do, tell their parents? 🤣🤣

I think there will be many more jokes afoot! 👣