Humor

I could tell you the one about the broken pencil... but it's pointless.

What grade does Sherlock hit on girls from?

Elementary, my dear Watson!

Why did he die?

Because God made a mistake and pressed Ctrl+Z.

I think there will be many more jokes afoot! 👣

What is the funniest hill in the world called? Hill-arious!

If you're mad, hire an orphan, what are they gonna do, tell their parents? 🤣🤣

Did you hear of my new job as a can crusher? It's soda pressing.

Someone: Stop making jokes about sh!

Me: Oh, sorry man, I'll cut it out, I'll cut it out deep!

Sans, you lazybones, get up and do something.

Sans: I am doing something.

Papyrus: Oh yeah, what?

Sans: Thinking up a skele-ton of jokes.

Papyrus: SANSSSsSsSsSssSsSSsSsSsSSsSSsSsSsS!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! I will end you.

Sans: What, does someone not have a funny bone? Oh wait, do you have a bone to pick with me? I have 206.

My mom gave me a box of chocolates, and she said life is like a box of chocolates, but then it kind of tastes like dog shit.

These are meannnnn.

What is Mr. Incredible's biggest fan now called? Down Syndrome :)

A man is sitting in a chair. He is talking to the other friend about what they must cherish.

One says he cherishes his family, the other cherishes his parents, and a man comes in, points at the chair and says, “I CHAIRish my Chair” as he pulls up a chair.

What's yellow and can't swim?

A school bus full of kids drowning.

If Bugs Bunny had Down Syndrome:

"Meeeehh, what's up, Downs?"

Me: "I came home laughing."

Parents: "What's wrong?"

Me: "The teacher asked everyone a question. Luckily, I was the only one who knew."

Parents: "Good for you, Johnny. What was the fantastic question your teacher gave everyone and only you knew?"

Me: "Well, it's kinda complicated, but here it goes."

Parents: "What is it?"

Me: "Who farted?"

"I heard a noise in the basement! I'm gonna go to my friend's house and play Minecraft with him until the noise I heard goes away."

"I heard a noise in the basement. I'm gonna go down there with a bazooka and thirty thousand rounds of pistol ammo and fifty thousand pistols."

Said no horror movie character ever.

And also GTA logic.

What is the similar thing between alcohol and anal sex?

They are not for kids.

Person 1: "I love KFC."

Person 2: "Yeah, me too!"

Person 1: "How many have you gotten?"

Person 2: "How am I supposed to remember how many buckets of chicken I have ordered!?"

Person 1: "Chicken? What chicken? What do you think KFC stands for?"

Person 2: "Kentucky Fried Chicken?"

Person 1: "What? I thought it meant kidnapping foster children."

Person 2: "BLOODY WHATT??"

A father awaits the birth of his first child.

The obstetrician says, "Unfortunately, he has no arms."

The father says, "I'll love it all the same."

But the obstetrician adds, "It is also without legs, trunk, head."

The father says, "I'll love it all the same."

Then the obstetrician confessed to him, "I'm sorry, but only this ear was born."

The father says, "I'll love it all the same."

And the obstetrician says, "Talk to him closer: he's deaf!"