Humor
Do you know 6+3?
Other person: Nine.
Nein is no in German.
Bully: My d*ck is longer than your password.
Me: Sorry mate, it's so short, get a longer one! 🤣
Knock knock. Who's there? Dees. Dees who? Dees nuts!
(Or dees nuts in yo mouth!)
A morbid joke would be what's going on in my mind.
What did the phone receptionist at the suicide hotline tell the callers?
Hang in there!
What did the spaghetti say to the sauce? Pasta la vista!
What did one mountain climber say to the other mountain climber?
Man, you are really on edge.
Q: Why is the graveyard so noisy? A: Because all the coffin.
If you don't get it, it means because of people coughing.
I would tell you a joke about 9/11, but it would come crashing down on you.
It’s so sad because Stephen Hawking can’t even stand up for himself after all these mean jokes.
What do you call an Indian man stuck in a tree?
A leaf.
What would you name a mummified squirrel?
Perhaps... Mumford?
I hate you—if you look at the first letters of the words, you'll know what I mean.
Interfischl
Happy
Apple
Tea
Eeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee
What did the store manager say when they ran out of toilet paper?
We’re wiped out!
What do you call a one-legged hippo?
A hoppo!
Why did he die?
Because God made a mistake and pressed Ctrl+Z.
Not all cat puns are purr-fect; some just have their claws.
Rules of dark humor.
1. Everything shall be touched.
2. If it offends someone, it shall not be touched.
I could tell you the one about the broken pencil... but it's pointless.
Mom: See that guy over there with no hands, tell him to clap.
Son: Mom, I'm blind.
Mom: Exactly!