Humor
How do you make a snooker table laugh? Tickle its balls!
Why did Hellen Keller's dog run away?
I'm sure you would run away if your name was kjdhfkuaysbgfbkuejgf.
"If you can make them laugh and giggle, you can make their booty shake and jiggle."
Guy: Do you know how to draw woman's rights?
Girl: No, how?
Guy: All you need is a blank paper and reality.
Q: What is Hitler's least favorite grocery store?
A: Jew-Osco
Memes
Some moving men had just begun their day's work.
The first thing they brought into the house was a huge couch.
The owner came in and asked how everything was going. They replied, "Sofa so good."
9/11 jokes aren’t funny.
They always crash and burn.
How do you fit 1000 babies in a swimming pool?
A blender.
How do you get them out? Slurp them up with a straw.
I guess you can say he xxxpired.
Want to hear a joke, huh?
Me........
Rules of dark humor.
1. Everything shall be touched.
2. If it offends someone, it shall not be touched.
What do you call Stephen Hawking on fire? Hot wheels!
So, a neutron went to a bar. He asked the bartender how much for a beer. The bartender said, "For you, no charge."
My dad and I were talking and my cat left the room.
So I said, "I guess she wasn't feline it."
My dad said, "You've got to be kitten me, that was purrfect!"
I said, "Literally."
Mom: See that guy over there with no hands, tell him to clap.
Son: Mom, I'm blind.
Mom: Exactly!
What do bananas wear into battle?
Banana-rama!
I told my friend an egg joke yesterday.
He thought it was eggcellent.
I'd make a joke about Noble Gases, but I probably wouldn't get much of a reaction.
I guess Grandpa took the elevator to Heaven.
He definitely didn't make it up the stairs.
Not all cat puns are purr-fect; some just have their claws.