Humor

Which country can swim?

Finland. Get it? Fin Land?

Sister: Wanna know the difference between your singing and your flute playing?

Me: Sure... (Expecting a completely different response than what I get.)

Sister: Nvm, they have no difference.

Me: *Confused*

Sister: They're both horrible.

Knock, knock.

Who’s there?

Joem.

Joem who?

Joem Ama.

Your hairline is so far back, when your forehead was playing tag, your hairline ran away real far.

This ain't a joke, but the Twin Towers said their favorite number is 911.

All these jokes are all plane.

Me: Knock, knock.

Another person (OP): OP: Who's there? Me: Hatch. OP: Hatch who? Me: Bless you =) OP: But I didn't sneeze. Me: You just don't get a joke, do you?

Ask the emo kid: "Hey, how's it hanging?"

I rate it 9/11.

(Phone call) This is Frank's funeral home and grill, where yesterday's grief is today's beef. How may we help you?

Have you ever seen the Pokemon called Ryh... Rhydon these nuts?

Bring out your weapons, people.

It's bullying time.

What's green and bad for your teeth?

A green brick.

Helen Keller walks into a bar... and a table... and a chair... and a wall.

What does a blind man crying and an unplugged TV have in common?

Nothing can be seen when they get turned on.

Knock, knock.

Who's there?

A dragon.

A dragon who?

The dragon gonna drag its balls across your face.

A friend took me out to his shed and was showing me all his tools, when he pointed to a ladder. "That's my step ladder," he said. "I never knew my real ladder."

What do the Twin Towers and a bad joke have in common? They never land well.

Your mom's so fat, when she stands on the scale, it says, "To be continued..."

Dad: I heard an actor killed themselves with a knife. It was Reese something.

Mom: Witherspoon.

Dad: No, with a knife, you dummy!