Humor
I was high in high school, but not as high as the people jumping from the buildings.
My favorite animal is a cheetah, so I hope the jokes are good.
You know what I like most about people with Parkinson's... Their handshake!
How to harass? Say it out loud but slowly. Split that word into, and it sounds like "her ass."
I bought a sweater and it started building up static electricity.
So I got another one free of charge.
Memes
What did the shirt say to the pants?
Belt.
What do you call a nerd in space?
A space nerd.
What's the difference between a speed bump and a road kill?
About 40 mph.
Why does a blind man still have eyes?
So he can see that he can't see.
What does a blind man crying and an unplugged TV have in common?
Nothing can be seen when they get turned on.
Why is the blind kid popular?
He can't see the middle fingers.
Knock, knock.
Who's there?
A dragon.
A dragon who?
The dragon gonna drag its balls across your face.
A friend took me out to his shed and was showing me all his tools, when he pointed to a ladder. "That's my step ladder," he said. "I never knew my real ladder."
What do the Twin Towers and a bad joke have in common? They never land well.
Your mom's so fat, when she stands on the scale, it says, "To be continued..."
Why are bears' hair so sticky?
Because they use honeycombs.
What do you call it when you see nothing but pants? Brief psychotic disorder!
How did the emo kid compliment the other emo kid? He said, "I like your cuts G."
Ask the emo kid: "Hey, how's it hanging?"
Knock knock.
Who's there?
Abby.
Abby who?
Abby C D E F G H I J K L M N O P Q R S T U V W X Y Z.