Humor

Why should you always knock on the fridge door before opening it? In case there's a salad dressing.

You know it’s called the circle of life? Because there’s no point to it.

Why did the Chicken Cross the Road?

Idk.

Is there a mirror in your pants? Because I see myself in them.

What do lizards and Queen Elizabeth have in common?

They both live long with dry skin.

I was high in high school, but not as high as the people jumping from the buildings.

You know what I like most about people with Parkinson's... Their handshake!

Knock knock.

Who's there?

Abby.

Abby who?

Abby C D E F G H I J K L M N O P Q R S T U V W X Y Z.

Student: It's hot in here.

Teacher: That's because I'm in here.

I saw an orphan on the road. I asked him if he's an orphan. The kid says, "Yeah, what gave it away?"

I say, "Your parents."

Me: "Cya"

Mom: "Where ya going?"

Me: "The orphanage to make yo mama jokes."

Mum: ...

Why did the chicken cross the road? To cock-a-doodle die...

Sister: Wanna know the difference between your singing and your flute playing?

Me: Sure... (Expecting a completely different response than what I get.)

Sister: Nvm, they have no difference.

Me: *Confused*

Sister: They're both horrible.

Knock, knock.

Who’s there?

Joem.

Joem who?

Joem Ama.

Dad: I heard an actor killed themselves with a knife. It was Reese something.

Mom: Witherspoon.

Dad: No, with a knife, you dummy!

What's the smartest insect? A spelling bee!

What does a storm cloud wear under his raincoat? Thunderwear.

What do you get when you cross a snowman and a vampire?

Frostbite.

How did Capetian Hook kill himself? He wiped his butt with the wrong hand.

My favorite animal is a cheetah, so I hope the jokes are good.