Humor
What does one piece of toilet paper say to the other?
"I'm wiped!"
Stephen Hawking walked into a bar. Just kidding :(
Q: What do you call a Mexican man that lost his car?
A: Carlos.
Once there was this Whichdoctor. He walked barefoot most of the time, which gave him impressive calluses on his feet. He also ate very little, and the food gave him bad breath, which made him (wait for it) a Super Callused Fragile Mystic Hexed By Halitosis.
Knock knock.
Who's there?
Spell.
Spell who?
W. H. O.
Sorry mate
Q: What do women and KFC have in common?
A: Once you eat the breasts and thighs, all you have left is a greasy box to put your bone in.
Me: tries to scan self at Walmart. I can't scan myself, wanna know why?
Alfred: Why?
Me: because I'm worthless... =)
When someone calls me ugly, I get sad and hug them.
I know life can be difficult for those with weak vision.
What do depressed people and Apple's have in common?
They both hang from trees.
I have many jokes about unemployed people, but sadly, none of them seemed to have worked.
Me.
The joke is me.
Guy feels something on his back.
“Oh God, please let that be a rifle.”
“Nope. I’m just real happy to see you.”
Why are Japanese always so skinny?
Cause last time there was a fat man, an entire city disappeared.
The last thing I told my ex after we broke up was, "At least we're still cousins!" 😂
Q: What has two wings and a halo?
A: An Asian phone call, "Wing, Wing, Halo?"
Why do orphans always have water in their cereal? Because the dad never came back with the milk.
Wanna hear a pizza joke?
Never mind, it's too cheesy.
Dogs say woof.
Cows say moo.
Idiots say, "The site will be less dead when school starts again!"
Why do I only date orphans?
Because they never have daddy issues.
What’s the difference between me and Glow In The Dark Intelligent Putty? The putty’s intelligent!