Humor
Yo mama so rich,
her blood type is 24 karat GOLD!
Why is it so hard to find people defending suicide in any discussion?
Because they are really committed to their cause.
3 people having sex is a threesome, 2 is a twosome. So next time someone calls you 'HANDSOME', don't take it as a compliment!
I thought about making a necrophilia joke, but I knew it would be a DOA.
I should probably stop making jokes about bulimia. They just leave a bad taste in my mouth.
Do a neck reveal.
Did you ever see any white men drowning in the Atlantic Ocean?
Yeah, it went on and on.
How much wood could a woodchuck chuck if a woodchuck could Chuck Norris?
Chuck Norris sent the chicken back across the road.
I would have a joke for my friend... but he can't afford the punchline.
There are perks to bringing an emo to the grocery store; you can get coupons by scanning their wrist.
What kind of cold flu do the Japanese get? The Koflu.
What did the full glass say to the empty glass? "You look drunk!"
+1 like = 1 kid in my basement.
+1 follower = 1 kid in my Microwave.
+1 Comet.
My doctor said I need to lose calories, so I got a piece of paper, wrote "calories," and lit it on fire.
A male unexploded landmine was in love with a female unexploded landmine, and he said to her...
"Hey, baby, we should bang sometime!"
What is a joke that will never end even though you want it to?
For me, life.
Me explaining my child: when your mom is sitting on a table during her period, it's called the periodic table.
Girl: I’m so in love with you!
Boy: Me too. I think you’re abcdefghijk: aesthetic, beautiful, cool, determined, elegant, famous, hot.
Girl: What’s the ijk?
Boy: I’m just kidding.
Why are you wearing a cap? Oh, I know, to cover your hairline!