Humor
What do you call a dog turd in China?
Waste of food.
What did God say when he made the first woman?
"Where is your dick at?"
What do you call a Mexican with one leg?
Border hopper.
What’s Forrest Gump’s password? 1forrest1.
Someone complimented my parking today! They left a sweet note on my windshield that said, “Parking fine.”
Why can’t orphans have phones?
Because it has a home button!
What was the comment that Vice President Harris said in the United States Senate when a blue dog democrat in the United States Senate called Vice President Harris a bitch?
Kibbles 'N Bits!! Kibbles 'N Bits!! I is going to get me some Kibbles 'N Bits!!
What did the Pokémon say after having sex?
"My ball was sore!"
"A llahu Aks into a bar..."
And it blows up!
An action hero stops a man running by throwing a tire at him.
What is his one liner? "I told you to stop running or you will get tired."
Let's get this right. What's the difference between an egg and a wank?
You can beat an egg, but you can't beat...
For every orphan, a bag of chips is family size.
What YouTube channel did Mt. Fuji subscribe to? Chrissy Man.
A man went to the doctor, and the doctor said, "What happened to you?"
The man replied and said, "I broke my arm in two places!"
Then the doctor replied with, "DON’T GO BACK TO THOSE TWO PLACES!!"
What do you call a wild party in a bamboo forest?
Panda-monium!
I told a seal a joke, it went like this: "Why did the kid cross the playground?" He said, "Why?" I said, "To get to the other slide." And then he said, "That's the sealiest thing I've ever heard!"
Why did the turkey cross the road?
Because it was the chicken's day off!
A pun, a play on words, and a limerick walk into a bar.
No joke!
I submitted 10 puns to see if they'd make this list.
But no pun in ten did.
I've always wondered how it would feel to put Hellen Keller in a room full of doorknobs... but no doors.