Humor
Yo mama is so ugly that when she went through a face ID, it didn't think she was human.
Russia—the real joke.
Why did the chicken cross the road to KFC?
He wanted to see a chicken strip.
Your mama so fat, she walked by a TV and missed eight episodes.
What do you call a white man sandwiched between two black men in a blue sleeping bag?
An Oreo.
Memes
ROBERT LEWANDISNEY SONG
Give me freedom. Give me fire. Give me contract, Or I retire.
Jog all day, Out of UCL now. FC Barcelona, I need you now.
Villarreal defenders, They surround me. Big submarines, All around me.
I get upset. Call my agent. I want money. I’m impatient.
What do you call an Italian with a rubber toe?
Roberto.
Did you hear about the cannibal who converted to Catholicism?
On Fridays, he only eats fishermen!
I have a little John.
Why do fathers take an extra pair of socks when they go golfing?
In case they get a hole in one!
My friend said they were going to make a comeback. I told them to do it at the back of the throat.
"I'm sorry, Wendy, but I don't trust anything that bleeds for five days and doesn't die."
If a blonde and a brunette jump off a building, who would hit the ground first?
The brunette, because the blonde would have to stop and ask for directions!
Did you hear about the cemetery? I heard that people are dying to be there.
My biggest joke: I’d show you, but I don’t have a mirror to show you.
What do you call a different spaghetti? An impasta!
PAPYRUS: WHAT DO YOU CALL A DIFFERENT SPAGHETTI SANS?
SANS: What?
PAPYRUS: AN IMPASTA!
SANS: Good one.
Did you know that the "f" in "orphans" means family?
My bumper sticker says: "👋FORMER BABY ON BOARD."
What do you call a midget that waves? A microwave.
It was so cold out today believe it or not, I saw a politician with his hands in his own pockets!